Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James, 09/11/2021
Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
Identify Your Vibrational Signature with Ana Harvey, and Mindful Practice with Karin Jakubowski
Motivational speaker and former psychology professor, Ana Harvey, Ed.D., joins the show to talk about self-development and growth. And Karin Jakubowski, Ed.D., discusses the benefits of bringing mindfulness practices to public schools.
In today’s busy world it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. Dr Dravon James helps to inspire, empower, and educate people to live the life of their dreams. Focusing on health, wealth, and relationships, Dr. James offers strategies that work for everyday life.
you know the familiar Christmas story but did you know every person or place in the story represent the part of you we all have the inner purity of Mary the rampant ego of King Herod and the wisdom of the Magi Mary and Joseph journey is our journey to discover the Christ born in us read this fascinating interpretation of the Christmas story in the trip to Bethlehem by hypatia Hasbrouck visit Unity bookzz.org trip to Bethlehem<br> you were listening to Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> Empower yourself and get inspired to build the life of your dreams<br> welcome to Everyday peas with dr. dravon James<br> hello and welcome to our show I'm Doctor Trevon James and this is everyday piece I am super excited to be here with you today as we explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday piece to find is wholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality can you even imagine living today in that space my goodness I'm here to tell you that yes every day peace is possible yes you deserve every day peas and yes you can have every day peace we work together on this show to bring you the topics and the guests to partner with you is you create your life of Peace everyday and if you missed last week's show my goodness you miss Sebastian Steve<br> he is the director actor and writer and he was on our show discussing his film Grace and grit which is available everywhere if you have Amazon TV showtime Apple TV this movie is phenomenal I highly recommend it to you it's<br> an epic love story is a true story and it mirrors the stage the different stages of love it is phenomenal I call it my ugly cry movie because it's the up their tears it's just I couldn't stop crying but I was so happy doing it the end of the movie and it encouraged if you have not seen Grayson grade you owe it to yourself to explore some<br> the whole the whole spectrum of love that's what that pill mess up if you can catch that interview in all of our past shows by subscribing to the doctor dravon James everyday piece podcast on Apple Spotify Google play Stitcher and you can listen on the unity online radio. Org website another great place to find out what's going on in the world. The Draper James in every day peace is to visit our new and improved website that website is dr. Dre pain james.com<br> you'll find inspirational items that you're fine are free be so we have right now some freak pre material out there about self-esteem and self-confidence about building the life of your passion Define excerpts from my book Freedom is your Birthright to encourage you to visit that site frequently I do FAQ use of questions asked me am I to come to me to be an email but you can also put those questions on the website and what is someone will respond to you very quickly so epic you that I got last week is about our webinar that we put on our master class and that master class is over but we have a new one coming out shortly so please stay tuned to the website for the dates and then we also have a leadership boot camp coming up for you so stay tuned to the website for that as you all know we are talkin about our Anthem this year with<br> singing The Anthem in the Years rolling down what are we waiting for what are we waiting for them to create a life of our dreams we got some fabulous guest here today that it will help you unpack some of that but before we get to that I want to just give you a little information about our everyday peace moment our Focus this week is on gratitude just like it was last week and I want to give you this tip that I used to stay in this space of gratitude I open my eyes first thing in the morning and I grabbed a little index card from my nightstand and I write down three things on one side of the card about the past yesterday specifically three things about yesterday that I'm grateful for that I turned that card over and I write down three things three intentions that I'm setting for today three things that have not yet happened but I'm grateful for them in advance so I encourage you to do this is a my I called my active gratitude card because I allow myself to feel into that space and become totally excited about<br> what happened yesterday and totally jazzed about what's going to happen today it's called an active gratitude card I gave that to you I hope that it will help you as you build your gratitude practice today maybe have some fabulous guest with us today our first guest today is dr. Anna Harvey affectionately known as Dr phenomenon you'll hear about more about that just a minute she is a teacher of self and development motivation teacher of former psychology professor she has spent decades researching The Power of energy in particular vibrational frequencies to help people create not only the life that they need but the future they want to face we are so excited to have you on the show today dr. Harvey<br> thank you so much I am thrilled to be here and in and I just wanted to stress how much I appreciate the title of yourself everyday piece is so much evil to everyone we're all 100% energy and you can create that peace in your life anyone can so I just I love that message because it's truly a changeable everyone in the happiness the joy that the Peace of the mind and heart is so changeable to everyone and by that title you are reminding them that it is there for them that all they have to do is just put out that intention and live in a higher frequency and truthfully it will come that's no energy energy is completely impartial energy is non-judgemental energy only responds to<br> a really create the images your thoughts create images and images react by activating feelings and if you Canna lie your socks in the mind which images in the mind and its support that with the feeling whatever you and your heart is desired the energy has no choice but to deliver so I love the title and I'm so glad that you are reminding people that you know peace is everything you know if you have peace in your life you will have a happy life and that life is a cheese ball so thank you thank you for that I love to try though thank you thank you and I love that we're starting off strong and fast because I didn't have to our listeners I hope you got this nugget if you would lie in your thoughts and your images you can create that that's I love and you write energy is always in motion so this is this is going to be a fascinating topic that we have first<br> talk to us was started by talking about your yearbook only good comes to me I love that I love them thank you that you can create not only the life that you want but anyone can create the future of that they want to have only good comes to me is my fourth book in my past life I was a college professor I'm a psychology professor of psychology and I have been teaching psychology for you know over a decade when I finally realized the psychology as much as for the answer is an assist people in how to explain behavior and how to change and modify certain thinking pattern only goes so far you really have to work with energy if you want to create your life and the way to do that is with alignment and again I cannot stress enough to transform to images<br> images activate feelings and feeling activate those vibrational frequencies that bring forth whatever is in your mind into your physical reality because we are all a hundred percent energy and energy only responds to the signals that you are sending so let's say you made a mistake and you are continuously living that mistake over and I'll be repeating that in your mind you know a year goes by two years goes by and you are still stuck in that mode of reliving that past mistakes all I do is bring you that and itchy and return this is why people feel anxious and sad and depressed even years after something that they consider on the stay cuz I will but a mistake really is it's Just Energy it's a learning opportunity for you to understand that this came into your life for a reason and they really<br> it's for your self empowerment and grow so to be stuck in that energy and continues to think about that mistake you are not growing from it that mistake that you made was there as an opportunity for you to learn from and made make you stronger so you are to take whatever whatever that that mistake was and transmuted into I understand what happened yes it was stupid on my part they were all of these consequences but I've learned so much from it and I'm able to transmute that into a higher power for myself now and stop thinking about it shut the door on that energy the more you think about that enter it the more you think about that situation that is what you'll continue to draw to you which again this is why years after the fact people are still angry people are still anxious because those very thoughts thoughts and emotions and images in the mind bring that energy to you again energy is completely in<br> Marshall it's not judgmental it only responds to the thoughts in your mind because that's what what triggers and activate those emotions you know forgiveness is a very powerful word but it's also a very powerful tool many people find that forgiving themselves is actually even a lot harder than forgiving others and that is because they have not looked at the things that are happening in their life that they have perceived as negative as hurtful as painful that they're they're simply as an urgent pain is nothing but a lower vibrational frequency that's all pain is and if you can get the label pain away from that situation and you realize that this is just energy that must be managed you are taking away the hurt and replacing it with a higher thoughts and how your behavior and a higher emotional and mental pattern when you can<br> you will you can literally transform your life by not being stuck in a lower energy of your past mistakes that make sense it makes so much I want to say this I have so much to say because you're just allowing me to do I think you for having your doctorate degree in Psychology and I want to tell you why because what we're talkin about here were talking about energy and sometimes people turn a deaf ear if they don't have this highly credentialed individual that causes quack this is boo boo but you and I both know that it's not ruined our listeners know that is not we will in the fact that you represent you know the established thought of pattern psychology and even still can say yes<br> I can tell you that I think it's Angie I would like to be very happy with your accolades but I actually have four degrees I also have two Master's in addition to the doctrine and I would just like to say something about those credentials credentials as simply a piece of paper you can learn everything that is in My Mind by yourself so you know people is in in this is what I found through the numerous seminars and workshops that I give do you know that the majority of the people that are in my seminar do not have a degree yet they are vibrating much higher than the people that do I absolutely do know that<br> yes it's so true very true sometimes people when you have a lot of Prudential you know credentials also tend to wipe out individual thoughts and squish your own creativity because you are so entrenched in scholarly work as opposed to what is really resonate for you everybody's so individually different not in terms of frequency although the frequencies are different everybody vibrates at a different speed this is why you see things the way that you do everything and everyone is vibrating at a certain product at a certain speed and this is why you see the phone about you too cuz it's vibrating at a lower energy people are vibrating energy but your book everything everything you can see touch her or ever has been produced or manufactured is all vibrating it is all energy vibrating or sewing pattern so<br> when you are entrenched in scholarly work sometimes you lose touch with who you are as a person in your own creativity so yes I do have a lot of degrees may have been extremely helpful but it's also because I have a lot of degrees I've decided to leave Academia because I realized that you cannot teach the stuff that baterial that I cheat in Academia it's simply a not not really acceptable because you know energy unless you're in dealing with a lot of scientific facts and physics you may be able to to Really share some of that material in those classes but you cannot apply at the things like intent you apply it to things that corporations can use to sell products or develop products it's not about developing the salt it's not about personal growth it's not about personal and Richmond so<br> I'm finding that the people who don't have a lot of Prudential they are so empowered to their own personal growth because they have not been nothing but I'm using the word change it Loosely cuz I usually not tainted but they haven't been exposed to so many other idea that everyone pitches are correct when we all know that what is correct is what is individually in your soul and your own individual sole pattern your own purpose in life this is why intense is so powerful because you have to be connected to your soul to your spirit okay and I really like you that's that you don't stall and spirit are really two different things the soul is the actual<br> top part of the person that sat apart from the ego in a human life spirit is something that lives on the other side so we're walking around with with a soul here on Earth for filling our purpose of filling our Dharma knowing full well that our spirit is actually it with higher Consciousness it's you know we are always connected to that Source conscious but I like to use that interchange of like you know what that's fine but I just wanted I just wanted to make the distinction not that it's it's you know it's necessary to understand that but the reason I'm bringing this up is when people are entrenched and things that are very worldly they lose the connection to Spirit that's your connection so this is why I'm finding that a lot of people in my seminars are Ashley vibrating much much higher because they've had the opportunity to actually work on themselves and work on their soul and its and the actual spirit<br> part of life is spiritual energy because you could only go so far with your mental and emotional pattern you have to have a strong spiritual background and here I don't need religion I just need a belief system in yourself and in the stores in the energy because all that is<br> is God okay but it put the word God again is a label and I don't like to use the word God because it's really a source Consciousness when you use the word of God that it kind of itches today lose the meaning and see what you're really talking about is the source consciences of all that is and all that is including everything and everyone because again it's all energy it's just our vibrational speed makes us different from each other in terms of appearance and how are behaving and object nature you told by burning it took the levels But ultimately it is all sore because it comes from that energy and we're all a part of that energy this is why everyone is God and get and can create as God that's the beautiful part and that's my message at my seminars when I cheat vibrational frequency my classes consist of how do identify your own<br> personal vibrational frequency where are you vibrating really now are you think but where are you vibrating really and I have all of these assessments that after the gauge as to where you are vibrating because you know you have to know where you are vibrating on a mental level where are you on a physical level on a spiritual level because you know by Collective frequency that matters because you're very intelligent and logical but if you're emotionally immature or you really vibrating where you need to be you know so part of my work is to Enlighten people and to figure out where are they vibrating that that's why my book is so vital because it assist people to identify their own personal vibrational frequency and it teaches them how to increase it how did incredible I braid higher because it is only through a higher vibrational frequency that you can<br> talk to you what you desire it is only through energy that you can take the thoughts in your mind and bring them is your physical reality it can't be any other way. So everything is in life is created okay. It was froze building the thought right before I could be brought forth from the Mind into a physical reality to have to be in alignment and this and that's true for everything and everyone this is how God create it all starts in the Consciousness and then it brought forth into our physical world my messages find out what you are vibrating because that is going to help you to create not only the life that you want but the future that you want to fix because anything in your mind can be brought forth into your physical reality if you can align with that desire<br> is Bring It forth to you so that is why it's so important in 10 Q mentioned intense before intent must be pure whenever you are vibrating High the ego is silent and the ego can't take take a lot of flower is a very important part of my life without the Eco you know the Eagles the eagle tries to protect you a lot you know it is through the ego that you may not be hurt because of the eagle in that allow you to move forward and turn the area because it tries to protect you but the ego can also be your worst enemy if you don't know how to control it so when you when you make friends with the ego and think of the high vibration by telling the eagle your own personal cell which is you know a part of your in a personality characteristic traits which is diff<br> print then your soul energy it's faster if you tell your ego I only want to do things but not only my higher good spot for everybody else is higher good and getting spankings Hugo is going to fall in with that idea and you will find that not only is going to protect you but it's actually going to assist you how to be a better person how to work with others better so and that's all part of that emotional Consciousness feel like they discussed briefly before I teach how to do that as well because you don't worry complex animals they really are and you have to be able to understand that if you committed your health if you if you do not like where you are living right now in terms of your own mental space and if you do not have peace and joy and prosperity in your life if you are miserable in any way shape or form you know you have to be held accountable for that<br> in some way shape or form you have created that could put you if you end up breaking one second after we have a caller who's been on the line for a minute who wants to ask you a question that and we have just a few minutes I don't want to miss this call hello thank you for calling<br> hello thank thank you for holding your arm with dr. Harvey<br> hi hi so I had to comments and then they can breathe because any questions that I had got the Holly answer them but she made a lot of a lot of great you're welcome a lot of great points for two of them that really stood out to me was the first one when she talked about at the game yet because I teach or I have taught like criminal justice in college and I know when the things I found when I when I talk to my students I told him from the very beginning I said everything that we're going to learn this textbook you could teach yourself cuz I'm not I'm here for that because there is a purpose that has to be served in requirements but I said but I want to get you to think at a higher level about things and how they resonate with you and the students love that because I just don't do it from attacks perspective because I know they could do that themselves and so I feel like if you're there to teach in addition to meet requirements to have a desire to help students get to a higher level up<br> critical thinking and not critical thinking in terms of how we've been taught but true critical thinking as you're talkin about the second thing that you said that I thought really brought to me I'm the whole concept of ignorance is bliss because the more you know particularly when your degree that you said and the three of us here has agreed that the more you have for the degree if you let that so foggy down and think that is the true measure of intelligence and a true measure of having an understanding about life and things will always be bog down and I'll tell and with this eighth grade education he's one of the most brilliant man ever to live because he thought and he and he tried to expand his mind is thinking so really I mean I could talk by everything you said was so great but it was really really really really good and then also to I appreciate the fact that you're a New Yorker cuz I'm one too<br> Grace based off of Mount Vernon so that's a great thing thank you so much for calling is my pleasure to bring it to you thank you for being an everyday Peacemaker<br> the fact that you're out here you know your instructor and a professor and and that's such a wonderful thing but as instructor as you know we have to remember that we we teach for school that we are bound by all kinds of guideline you really can't you can't teach outside of the the textbook you really can I try to sneak it in like like very stuffed with that sort of stuff<br> what's the gateway to our special guest today is dr. Anna Harvey and we're discussing her book only good comes to me you and we have just about a minute left but I want to go back to this really quick point because I know that there's a listener who needs to hear this again you said that pain is a lower vibrational frequency and that they that can be switched we have about 10 seconds how can they switch they're paying frequency very easily switch your thoughts don't label label it as a learning experience same holds true for anger is it you know what holds true peranbe not being able to not to forget those are just label you can't think of life and label the minute you think of life and labor hope you are switching into a lower vibrational frequency and you wouldn't be able<br> we're out of time we're going to have dr. Harvey back I promise you it has been a fabulous interview thank you so much for being here with us today<br> thank you so much I enjoyed being here thank you again<br> discover the power within Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to Everyday Beast with dr. dravon James<br> welcome back I'm Doctor Trevon James and this is everyday peace what we have another Fabolous guess with for today but before we get there are previous guess dr. Anna Harvey. I wanted to give her website and you ran out of time I promise you that you'll be back in the beginning of 2022 but her website if you want want to learn more about the work that she does is www.dr spelled out d o c t o r Anna Anna Harvey h a r b e y, That's dr. Anna harvey.com her book is only good comes to me and so with that I'm excited to introduce you to our second guess of the day dr. Jakubowski affectionately known as dr. J and she is going to be talkin about mindful practice when working with children who don't we need that I mean<br> did we just say before the break that are doing the break that a lot of parents are still homeschooling and due to the pandemic and some parents have experienced homeschooling and know they could really use some mindful practicing with working with children because we all want to be great at it these are our future leaders and what we do in packs them so welcome to the show dr. J<br> thank you dr. James it's a pleasure to be here with you this evening it's so wonderful to have you and I got one of my favorite topic so how did you get started on your journey<br> so I it's so funny I wish set up in my room when I was a kid my stuffed animals and a chalkboard and I would teach them that I knew how to young age that I wanted to be a teacher and it just so happened that I end up volunteering at a private school one hour a week in their first and second grade class and the teacher walked by one day and she was like you know you're so good with kids and I was like I am just kind of like doing my thing I do or whatever in the more I thought about it I wanted to give back to kids and help instill in them qualities that I have recognized teachers had a powerful impact on forming and molding who a lot of who I am today and and so I became a teacher I talked for several years and I was an aspiring principal so now I'm a principal today in elementary school and I just love kids and environment where they love coming to school and learn at a place where<br> Beatles Love coming and working as well<br> it's so beautiful you say you know that age of children are so I can remember my kids and how they would just on your hug you around the legs as you walk in that it's it's it's beautiful but it's not all lollipops and sunshine we know that even in the life of an adult so we can hardly expect it to be that way in the life of children and I love the fact that you have dedicated so much of your career to being being a resource and and dining parents and children through this difficult times so when students are sent to the principal's office I have to honestly say I'm not bragging I was not one of those students I rarely have never saw the inside of my principal's office until I was in junior high school it was only one time with lots of I was I was a kid that was afraid to get in trouble<br> play I was afraid to get in trouble but I do know that and I have a couple friends or principles and I volunteer at elementary schools to come in and read and it is so scary when you're the kid who has to go and see the principal for really being able to help this segment of the child until I learned about 12 years ago from dr. Stuart Avalon out of Harvard he has a thing kids program and he taught 6 School District sent teams to listen to speak one day 12 years ago and it forever changed how I dealt with kids because he has a very positive approach that uses a very even tone of voice you don't yell at them you don't raise your voice you don't have that power struggle top down talking down to the kid and when he shared that it really synced with with what I really believed to my core of how we should<br> treat each other and kids because when I was a kid unfortunately I lied I stole things I cheated like I was a bad kid but at times I actually felt like I was bad and and and I had wonderful parents and wonderful do you know support structure but but how I interpreted it was that I was bad and when he had shared this process with us I was like I never want a kid to feel bad when they're in trouble because I believe every kid does feel bad and sometimes they don't show it to us which makes us feel like we're not remorseful and I I really don't believe that I believe deep down inside no matter what they're showing me they do feel bad for what they did and it's not my job to make them feel worse and that could be hard at school because sometimes when a kid does something wrong or bad it's hard for the teacher not to take it personally like it is they make big there is emotions there things get charged or when your child does something as a parent you're like I taught you not to do that why are you doing that<br> I do that sort of thing so it's a very simple approach that when when they come to my office I won't talk to them until I use the term their calm and in control of her body and this goes for parents to I Really challenged by parents in the six-week course I'm teaching right now our first lesson is Mom Dad caregiver to make yourself and practice this week you're going to wait till you're calm and in control of your body you can take a deep breath till you I can talk to your child and an even tone of voice and not yell at them when you're ready to speak with them and the other key is to wait till the child is calm and in control and I use a very simple I called my elevator tone of voice where I'll tell the kid who got in trouble from the playground you know I heard you know you kicked Johnny on the playground what's up with that and ask him these questions like that with his tone of voice and slowly over time the kid realizes they can be safe the safe enough environment to really open up about what really went on<br> and nine times out of ten dr. James it is like a story that was like not even related to the incident it was like you know my dad yelled at me we were rushing out the door didn't finish her breakfast this morning or is it sometimes I've had kids say things like that and so it's a very use a certain tone of voice a certain type of questioning and I teach parents this to my course but even if you just pick up on a couple of these things and start trying it see if that doesn't help improve that connection you have with your kids when they're when they're stronger than a difficult moment I love that you're saying that you know I like I coach adults and I think that's something that everybody can can benefit from you know calm down and getting in control of your body right cuz a lot of times and I bet this is true when do children to we're so out of control of our body is so unaware right and that when we can read reconnect and ground or something if you will<br> emptied her breathing and all of that it will last all wait a second you know I'm here you here this place is actually safe it's one of the pieces that that stress overload and in all the cortisol dump so it kind of get you grounded again and I love that elevator voice but I have to ask this what happens if you know in the Busey have this elevator voice in in and it rains if the person down the parent the child and all of a sudden in the middle of it there, then they spiked up again do we go to revert back to the<br> calm and get control of your body and just pause sometimes I'll look at them and say it looks like you need some more time to get calm and in control of your body and so I'll also a separate myself from them but I'll always keep them in my peripheral vision but I never stare at them because that feels makes anyone feel really uncomfortable and so I've learned that over time like I just keep in my peripheral and I let it let them you know you can't force a child to calm down faster than they're going to calm down which is really hard for us to you know wait wait that time out and sometimes that doesn't always work I mean sometimes you're in the moment and you need to get going or get out the door or you you know I there's time time time times where you're like you don't have the time to let them get calm but if and when you do or you have that space and that time you just you know recognize that in that tone of voice as well there's no judgment you know and sometimes with kids all all set a timer of Asia<br> timer and I'll hold it or I'll place it in the place where they can see it just did like I'll start with two minutes and then after two minutes if they seemed calm and they're not yelling or they are kind of able to talk you know we'll we'll try it again but a lot of times I like when a kid came in in trouble from recess and sometimes they go to lunch I would let that kid go to lunch as much as that that was her teacher cuz they just wanted them to get that punitive feeling right now you're the principal because that was wrong and they they feel that's going to like three more weight to the situation and I I kind of joke even though it's not that funny outside and privately to because I'm like even people in prison get to eat like yes they're going to go eat and when their calm and they're in control their body you know they'll come back and we'll talk about it so so parents like that that's cool you might take some this call is don't deal with it right in the moment when your child is upset if you just shift about one thing and you're going forward you will<br> get a better return when you do need to talk to your child and sometimes I would look at a child be like I'm really upset and I'm happy to hear in a really hurts when I heard but but you did I'm not sure what's going to happen but I'll talk to you a little bit later and not just Harris kids up because there aren't they don't know what's going to happen right or sometimes you say that like will wait till your father comes home like if you don't know what to say or you both need that time out you can use those razors because I would only talk to a kid when their calm and in control that might be 10 minutes later an hour later sometimes the kids don't even know why they did what they did and they're still worked up over it but I'll come back to it hopefully within that day cuz you don't want too much time to go and you ask them and then you ask the question again like I heard or I noticed that you know that you do you do through through the kids paper on the floor ripped it what's up with that<br> I'm at most times will say I don't know or don't shrug your shoulders that's always nine times I've found what they do and then you come back with a question of if you did know what would you say if they look at you like you have two heads because even when I went at 4 and I was like what did you just say buddy and I asked it again and you wait that impregnable pause and you give them time to think and respond just cut out all of our additional verbage we end up like just that it a talky talky talky just quiet yourself down and give your child that time to think and respond and it's amazing what they start coming out with of why something really happened or maybe there was something more to the story than we really knew in the moment<br> oh and this leads me in it and you just answer this question for me but I want to ask it any way you talk about connection before correction just talked a little bit about that you know even though I got it when you just said all that it's clear as a bell to me but you know why why is that so important for a parent or for a teacher or authority figure in a child's life I'll give you a story to explain why connect before correct to something I I work with my teachers on and I just recorded everything I do so when I was assistant principal I obviously get all the behavior of referrals and have to talk to the kids and the same kids would get written up kind of typically you get your you know high-flyers they call them and I think another always in trouble like they can never be good enough like whatever done with the class like they may just have this whole you know they're seen as that kid and end<br> that just bothered me like I never loved that and because I was kind of a kind of a very good I knew how they felt and I I hated that feeling so what I did as assistant principal was I end up having lunch every week with the kids in the school with the most referrals and it's amazing how everyone loves the game Uno so they could bring one friend and I would play with your lunch together and I'll be up late you know and we would laugh and I was just like a kid with them like we just had the best of times and why was I doing that because I was creating that connection so when I had to correct them the next time they did something wrong cuz they were the same kids getting in trouble now we had a relationship built now we had to trust built and when I had to say hey this is not XYZ you know nine times out of ten they were starting to learn from what they were doing wrong to the point where I ended up giving leadership opportunities titties<br> kids changing how they saw themselves the one kid who got the most reps in school he ended up being our tour greader when we had tours and he was like the mayor of the school he was just telling talkin up a storm and for the first time the leasing office Salt Lake kid who superpower was coming out in face of him sitting in the office in trouble which had been nine times out of ten in the months before 2 that's my whole pass around this because you can change you can literally change the trajectory of a kids like they don't have it doesn't have to find who they are and who they'll be the rest your life but how many times do you see that happening opposite<br> yes it is so important you just said to me because that you're not defined by that one mistake could you imagine if we as adults right now today where to find by the the one thing we wish we hadn't said or being late to the meeting we can have our whole career or a whole existence to find out that one thing and oftentimes we do that to children and I love this connection before correction because really it this whole you know my password Church always says it's all about relationship right in really it is but you can really use these as you have done you know who know in the lunch you've used these challenging circumstances as a way to build a deeper connection a deeper and more meaningful relationship and I would say that probably that kid leaves the school with even more connection then if you don't like my cell phone never went to the principal's office and I had enough was never connected never got the chance to be the mayor of the school<br> how amazing is that good because you know his name you get to know him or her and that's pretty it's not like I know you just because oh my gosh. I guess you said a frequent flyer I know you because you're special because you are important because you know that it makes a huge difference so I totally I totally agree with this now for years we know that kids are struggling even back when I was a child I struggled for Haverly and emotionally and academically that is ongoing what was the game changer what what is<br> I guess what is this game is there magic but I guess it's a better way to say that is there some way to make their experience academically for those who are struggling with behavior struggling emotionally struggling with academics you know so that they do walk away feeling like even if I didn't get the eggs at the bees<br> even if I am a behavior that's a little bit different to walk away feeling like<br> my experience here<br> has encouraged me to continue in my learning and my developing<br> yeah and and for parents on the call you know if maybe you had a kid or you know a kid in a school and maybe they do or don't have like this kind of support system setup or or kind of deal in this way cuz cuz this approach is is very unique when people meet me there like you're the principal but you're like the nicest person I ever met and I'm like yeah I'm a nice principal like I'm I can't yell at people not angry about me and so maybe if maybe that's not the situation for you or your child or someone you know what a school and a child you know is struggling with one thing you can ask the teacher for is a mentor in the school mentors are powerful they are a person who will see the positive in your child or maybe they're going to school everyday in the feedback is not so positive because of what they're doing that is Pastor doing the best I can but it's there's a lot we require kids to do these days it can be really hard on them so I always share that with parents like a success as for Mentor ask for the school counselor to have like a Lunch Bunch with York<br> cuz any of those positive influences they say it takes 7 a kid have 7 connections with other adults in a school for them to feel connected and like I'm a par I value like that's a lot of people so I I mean I can only speak for my experience for for what I did with the kids like this this with just one kid he he he was quiet and in kindergarten he stole from the art teacher and we didn't know why he stole things but I use this process with him never talk down to him never raised my voice never got angry just hey I heard you took some items like what's up with that and and then you know we we would ask him at the end what do you think you could do to make this right and that's really powerful phrase to use with your child or a student like have them come up with what they think could help mend that situation that was super powerful and then in first<br> be quiet I would sit with him while he was getting breakfast and outside his classroom and he would never say much I probably sit there and talk to myself most of the time but you know and then in third grade he destroyed one of the teachers carpets with charcoal and she was so mad and I didn't get mad at him I was like what you know I do. It heard you did that what's up with that and he was just being a kid doing something stupid like you really either that time it really wasn't didn't wasn't because of the like huge story behind that you know but I always treated him the same every year after year after year and in fifth grade key I knew he was tacky so I would make him turn on our announcements with our computer every morning and would you know he kind of like stood up taller and he his whole affect just just just changed more positive and the 5th grade boys would be like hey Tech guy and he was a guy who's always in trouble all these years growing up in school and yet. Fifth grade year he was cool and he the guys caught him tag<br> I know and I need just never know what difference that we have if we have that power we have that powers adult parents caretakers teachers would have you be so interesting to me is if you could follow up with some of these children and find out you know where you're going to buy it because I just saw that you know this guy could probably end up being a VPN some high-tech you know that you you you breathed life into him right where someone could have torn down his spirit and soul right but you took that you took this opportunity to breathe life into him and now he's walking through the school and they refer to him as Tech Guy how amazing is that there is an opportunity I think what I'm hearing is is an opportunity when given the choice<br> to present with something other than love choose love that I was going to say hate or judgment but just just choose love that sounds like what you've done over and over and over again and I can imagine you're talkin here in a lovely, environment but as you've mentioned I can imagine that there are times when it's difficult to do that when teachers have a different expectation of you other parents who feel like well do I want you to take a different stance with this particular child because of you know the ceiling or because of this or because of that but I applaud you for sticking to this approach because I know the business the way that we impact the world for good I know that it is I remember to this day one of the teachers just look at me going<br> you're not going to reward him are you as if lunch with visitor principal wasn't Award right cuz that's how they saw it at the moment cuz that's what that's a big deal if anybody ever got to do that right and you know what I had to say to her I had to say it's an intervention like I had to make up for a certain reason and purpose because of we know they had they cuz they were like the bad but but but that's how sometimes they get labeled and they get seen and and it doesn't have to be that way like yes there's a consequence and I'm sorry you're going to be suspended cuz you peed on the wall or whatever it is that you did that these kids too but but they're not going to feel that from me that you are a bad bad person and I and I would have to tell kids cuz I wish someone told me you're not bad what you did and I use the word unexpected I really like using that cuz misbehave is like what does that really mean by unexpected a kind of like oh well yes that was like not what I really should be doing<br> and I really would work at telling kids that so that they didn't walk away feeling like they were bad where then it goes to low self-esteem and low self-confidence meant oh my gosh we had a whole host of other issues to have to help them with the rest of their life<br> I think you're right you're so right you just need to just hit the nail on the head but if he if he get to the beginning if we're at the beginning of this and we handle this in a certain way we can prevent a lot of future problems and we're almost out of time if you're going to talk about your website I don't want to I don't want to miss that because you have some freebies on their ways people can connect with you what is that website and what can our listeners find their yes so ww.w educational impact Academy educational impact academy.com or find her on Facebook or Angelica belsky Twitter Instagram private message me I'll send it to you because on the front page you can put your email in to be on my email list so you can hear all the upcoming events in Chinese and everything we want to share with parents but you get my my videos here he's at the short video series on three sets of happy kids and it walks you through this process you could watch it as much as you want steak<br> write it down use those words and phrases with your child and and see if it doesn't start bringing successful you know results within your relationship with your child when they're having a challenging moment<br> and I have a podcast podcast Mom I have a podcast also called Mom nificent Karan jakubowski or the link is on my website too and it's all about giving tips and I interview people twice a week to just give parents quick easy tips takeaways to improve your life help you as a parent caregiver grandparent end in raising your kids and that's so important to I think that having a support network we live in the world is so busy and the impact of cold bed in the quarantine and all that it's the world hasn't slowed down and it's just as busy but we're not as connected and being part of her support group especially when you're a parent is so messy because it can feel so isolated and alone like you're in the island by yourself especially if you have a child who may be having a few<br> challenges I know I was listening to something at the other day and someone said it's too easy to parent a child that has doesn't have any issues but you know those of us who have paired real children know that we have real issues and so do children and it's okay it's it's okay let me how to navigate those and having a strong support system makes all the difference you give us that website just one more time. It's educational impact academy.com ww.w educational impact academy.com or you can just Google my name Karan Karin jakubowski jakubowski<br> well I guess today has been talking to us about how to positively impact our the children in our lifetime Dr.Dre Bond James I'm super excited to partner with you out every Monday as we discover how to build a life of peace every day I'll talk to you next week<br> you've been listening to Everyday cheats for dr. Avon James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that lead you to your next level of greatness and I would love to walk with you on your journey here some ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me again so let dr. Dre Bond James. Calm enrolling my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International enroll in the brilliant life 9 weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at the back to Trayvon james.com purchase my book feed him is your first break from Amazon thank you for being and every day Peacemaker I absolutely love you<br> thank you for listening this is Unity online radio the voice of an Awakening world<br> you know the familiar Christmas story but did you know every person or place in the story represents a part of you we all have the inner purity of Mary the rampant ego of King Herod and the wisdom of the Magi Mary and Joseph journey is our journey to discover the Christ born in us read this fascinating interpretation of the Christmas story in the trip to Bethlehem by hypatia Hasbrouck visit Unity bookzz.org trip to Bethlehem<br>