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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James, 07/12/2021

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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
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Success Through Self-Love with Jenna Banks, and Life Mastery with Sherry Stirling Fernandez

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

Success Through Self-Love with Jenna Banks, and Life Mastery with Sherry Stirling Fernandez

Jenna Banks, entrepreneur, author, podcast host, public speaker, and self-love advocate focused on women’s empowerment and gender equality, joins the show. Dr. Dravon James also speaks with Sherry Stirling Fernandez about life mastery and progressing towards a better version of yourself.

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

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In today’s busy world it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. Dr Dravon James helps to inspire, empower, and educate people to live the life of their dreams. Focusing on health, wealth, and relationships, Dr. James offers strategies that work for everyday life.

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Unity started more than a century ago as a publishing house and it's still producing some of the finest books and spiritual products anywhere here's good news is it's holiday season everything in the unity online store is 15% off you'll find the latest books journals and card decks along with an El Famous intention guys and a new pet puzzle this year send unique gifts to all your spiritual friend visit unity.org gift guide<br> you're listening to Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> Empower yourself and get inspired to build the life of your dreams<br> welcome to Everyday peas with dr. dravon James<br> welcome to Everyday peace and Dr.Dre Bond James and I am super duper excited to have you here with us today as we explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday peace defined is wholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality my goodness I hope you can just feel the energy of that just take a moment and inhale completely through your nose hold it for a second and then a complete Excel through your mouth and know that in this moment<br> peace is available to you holness completeness nothing missing nothing broken right now in this moment I'm super excited to have you here with us today because I want you to know that yes every day peace is possible yes you deserve every day peace and yes you can have every day a peace we work together on this show the to bring you the topics in the guest to partner with you as you create your life of Peace everyday so welcome to our first show of the last month of the year just thinking about that makes me smile and our anthem for 2021 as you well know it was or is what are we waiting for and by now you have the answer to that we are not waiting for anything because we had<br> everything we need right here right now in this moment to cultivate<br> and become our best selves how exciting is that so we don't need to waste another second before we decide to activate our best selves all year this show has brought you the topics in the guests as I mentioned to partner with you so you create your your life in your day and every moment in your life of peace and if you've missed any of the shows of the year I highly recommend that you go back and listen to them because I guarantee you there's something in there that speaks to the life that you want to create you can listen to an access the entire library of shows by subscribing to Dr.Dre Bond James everyday piece podcast on Apple Spotify Google play in Stitcher or you can listen to them on the unity online radio. Org website you can also access past shows and useful<br> content on my website if dr. Dre Von james.com and the website includes words of wisdom and encouragement excerpts from my book feed him is your Birthright contact information free holiday gifts free courses and you name it right now I've got a really fun end of year beginning of the new year gift giveaway absolutely free tips to improve your self-esteem and self-confidence no better way to go into 2022 with and then having healthy self-esteem and healthy self-confidence finally you can use my website to sign up for my free boot camp that's right we're kicking off 2022 and the right way I have a boot camp is coming up it begins on January 10th and runs through January 14th is a virtual absolutely free boot camp and it's five steps to thinking like a boss five steps to help you increase your iron<br> potential in 2020 to make more money because of all my years of coaching guess what I found that most of my clients had on their list of things they want to accomplish something that required increase increase taxes income so we got to be there so go to the website and join today for the free boot camp called earn like a boss it starts January 10th but you want to get registered as soon as possible because this is will fill up quickly so that's what we have going on for an everyday peace and speak with wait wait to we are going to be doing something a little different over the next couple weeks you know I love staying in the present moment may I teach that I live there I know this is where all the power is but over the next couple weeks I want you to focus on getting off to your best start<br> in 2022 so in our first show of the year if you think back in 2021 we had the phenomenal Vincent Jenna on the show and he gave us some very important the technical data on what happens to those New Year's resolutions he said that 92% of those resolutions feel so if we want to have a prosperous year in our health and our wealth and our relationships you all who follow me recognize that is the Pyramid of every day peace health wealth relationship if we want to have prosperity in all three of those areas we're going to have to learn how to set those goals differently set those resolutions differently this would mean that this would be an excellent opportunity to go back and listen to that show if you don't have that in the archives of your own memory don't worry you can get it from our archives so that's the Vince and Jenna show it was a bear<br> a show of 2021 and he talked about setting New Year's resolutions so over the next few weeks I want us to start the process of working on our 2022 resolutions so we got to do some work in the present to prepare for the future that we want so let's not put this off until the New Year's let's start working on this as a team together we have it every day peace tribe and I'm going to give you a little homework before we jump into our Fabolous guess so this homework is going to get you off to a great start for a fabulous year so I want everybody to get excited about this so number one I want you to make a list it make a list it at that has three items on it number one is what is it what is going on in your life right now that you enjoy<br> right that's a gratitude portion what's happening right now that you really enjoy number two is what is going on in your life that you would like to change in 2020 to take that Power Boss position and enact some changes to number one what's going on in your life right now that you enjoy number to what's going on in your life right now that you want to change and number three what is something absolutely brand new that you want to create in your life in 2022 that sounds pretty easy right now so you have a whole week to work on that night encouraging to really think about these three lists think about what you enjoy what you want to change and what new thing you want to introduce into your life I'm super excited about this project we got to be working on this together as we pushed towards the brand new year and open up with success so I want that with that being said I want to introduce you to our first guest today our first guest<br> is shirt cheering for Nan's I hope I said it right ways to say it so she has been mentoring clients for over a decade on life Mastery life Mastery she is also the author of the best-selling book like Master personal progression toward an infinite potential welcome to the show I am super excited for this topic today<br> thank you dr. Javon thank you for having me on your show<br> oh I'm super 8 you can you know my thoughts and you know there was a little mix-up and which week you're going to be here so I'm super excited for you to be here and I think I do not believe that there is any chaos in the universe I think you're here at the right time closing out this year we're looking to close out strong and share your message is about mastering life can you start by giving our listeners an overview of the concept of Life mastery<br> I think I tried to explain it the easier way to explain it but it isn't everybody knows that when we're stuck will not moving forward or we get back there's no reading stuff for either backsliding or moving forward like that feeling of stock I don't know how to move forward it I don't feel like I'm going anywhere that's not happiness as opposed to if we're moving forward and have some sense that we have control over our physical or emotional and spiritual the attendant role of our lives and we're moving forward the best happiness and that is a concept of black bastard that when we move forward or happier the little tiny steps forward not some arrival because we never arrived but the idea of that we're just be having a grip on life and we are able to move forward with it and that's what like Master offers his some some ways to move forward<br> oh and I love that because there's we know energy is not stagnant is always moving and if we don't know if we're out of flow if we feel like we're stuck and everything else around us is progressing right it make me do have that feeling of not being liked contented if you will because you feel out of sorts because we share in flow is that called that being a flow to get this I guess what you call that the basic premise of Life Mastery is to be in motion to have a feeling of moving<br> I need that's a really good way to put it. Like you said we feel out of out of sync with the world if we're not moving for it because everything is like it is all energy light the snow isn't really no stagnant so yeah for sure that energy moving at moving yourself forward that's certainly the idea for something language I used but that is certainly the idea of it that when we're moving to becoming what we are the infinite potential is staying the grand we can't even grasp but it was not even within our ability to grasp how we lie Grand we are and how much potential we have if I calling or a destiny right so when we're moving towards. We're naturally stop here when we're not moving towards that. Destiny or that potential we're not happy we're living below ourselves<br> oh and you know when you said that what I heard was in you can definitely correct me from hearing this wrong but life Mastery is focused a lot on the journey not necessarily the destination<br> like I haven't you not love smart goals because I like smart smart goals you know the specific needs Triple-A because I think gold should be huge so big we can't bigger than ourselves and put it in the sense that we have some steps to get from here to there are potential is to implement our destination should be our goal is to be in for the silk if you never go there right there. The boys in the dream every step forward sometimes people will say what what can I do how can a baby get out of this slump and then take one step forward just I have client will come in maybe just to talk about me being want to do coaching and they'll talk about the subjective unstuck you know I just feel so the next one steps I took one thing and move forward then text me and tell me how you felt and I always feel happier because that's what that's what we're destined to be doing is moving towards a potential your store<br> Redwood a coniferous called on the front of the book that represents a potential of a red blood count is like about an inch high I'm going to see this is Tiny inside it but the potential of those those see this just do you ever sit at the foot of the Redwoods and mean it just doesn't spoil your way there they're three eighths of a three times bigger than the tallest building in Idaho I'm there just huge and we're like that when it's little tiny seed and we're destined to this great thing and if we're not moving towards that is not happiness amount right there's no copy this and being less than what we can be but it's definitely in the journey it's just every little step forward is an exciting today told you when we first got on I Like Mondays and I know I'm not trying to be cute I really do like Mondays I like Fresh Start the first day of birth week fresh buns I like the first year I like a fresh seasoned I always think September is a good starting place cuz baby cuz I raised a lot of kids but September is always a good end of the summer a good starting place I like new beginning so I can<br> rebound and put new energy into new goals renew the things I'm working on<br> wow I did you brought my attention back to I used to do a lot of in a little word postings on Mondays in one thing I always loved about Mondays was New Beginnings like at the start I get to be a different person I get to be the same person may be right I get to the side and I like that idea I guess I Like Mondays to I never thought about it like that but I do need it for the simple fact that you know it's a fresh start but. I can redo all my work on<br> it's like a clean sheet of paper so that's why I like Minds I like Friday's to don't get me wrong I do like Friday we cannot forget that who will Drew you to this topic of Life Mastery why was this something you were drawn to<br> advantageous to his out of me I think people ask this question 1 how they get started on them so I just have to tell the backstory because when I was a little girl and I don't know that this is what made me think that you just happen to be why I remember about my my mother left my father just before those girls and not very quick to take care of us this is on 1962 or 363 and saw this little ragamuffin girl wandering around this little town and I thought I remember that one. It's all over I just wander all over this town I don't even know why I said it wasn't about me but I would think a lot of walking walking I had somewhere in this walking and see if she had determined that I was somebody really special there's some really great wonderful things out there for me which is the little practically in poverty the child of a single mother in those days but I did I just thought there's a great great things would look like I just knew that their marbles for me<br> feeling never left me and even though by the time I got out of high school and early seventies no sex drugs and rock and roll and all that and it kind of got caught up in that for a while but it never really quite left me that this great things up there so when I decided to change my life settled down you don't get married to Mike at a child and I decided I needed stability for and I got married to a father but two Sundays a little bit later I said okay that feeling came back and I wanted I wanted just like the best of everything I still do I stand for special things but we were just dirt dirt poor and I went to work deciding how do you get it at somebody can get it I can get it I wanted I wanted to be able to have these babies and have a rocking good body and I wanted to have a no limit on our finances and we can we can you put food on the table hardly I want the education that I missed while I was partying I wanted to stretch Rolla tea I want all these different things<br> and I wanted to limit on a me on Sunday so I I just knew it was possible and I went to work trying to figure out how you do that and I read all the books and I've listened to people speak Huns and audio programs and even though we were still having children in trying to see if we work so hard we still make some time to him on my bus for some personal development time and I found those answers and was able to create life Mastery and all those eight areas that I talked about so I have a I want the best married possible I think I have that and I don't have a cap on my finances and I'm very soft educated and still growing of course in all these areas but have a great spirits alive I just I feel like I really the success can even easier than I had anticipated that it would and then why certain people noticed nobody would have given you two cents for us when we started here and they was at those people are never going to make it but we didn't make it and then people notice a difference<br> MPS to speak for and teach the classes and workshops in and speak for two different audiences and I begin teaching one-on-one and I filled it up and get myself and I'm still working on all these things myself but that's kind of how it happened but it's like I can't I can't personal Improvement personal development for me is just it's a way of life is like it's just who I am to just always be trying to see if I can be better and I think it's instinctual to me I don't I don't know where it came from but I just like it I think it's a different book maybe I think I called it as I said a lot but let me check with spiritual relationships education motivation money lifestyle and character I didn't miss anything then<br> 8 areas of life Mastery and what I heard because as you're talkin I know I'm not the first person to tell you that your voice is very soothing in the net net net weight I mean soothing in a way that you make everything seem possible and that is a feeling right and and I want to talk a little bit about that because I love the fact that you said you didn't have any but I called proof positive meaning there was nothing tangible to say hey you're going to be this woman who has this lifestyle and there's nothing that you look around at your physical surroundings and everybody like are you kidding me right but you felt that right and it can be manipulated in the way that it can play tricks on how it represents things but it sounds to me like you had a feeling that was beyond that the said hey<br> there's something about you<br> and I love that I'm connecting to that so very much in this conversation I can feel that coming through because I believe in that as well is that this feeling that you have that that surpasses anything that someone can see your tell you and I'm encouraged by the fact and maybe you can tell us about how you got the courage to follow through with that to say yep I had a had this lifestyle of a young lady who partied and had a great time and he refused and didn't do this and didn't do that and have these babies but yet and still<br> I am this person who will have this life. How did you get the courage to continuing to pursue that into it against everything that look like it was to the contrary<br> you know what I'm about to do the work I had money to see clients on Mondays and one of the guys you guys I'm working with today we realized the problem with you is moving forward with some of the Colts was that he wasn't fully committed right until you're fully committed to jump in with both feet and and I believed with all my heart and jumped in with both feet and went to work and we're still working hard and it wasn't overnight success of course but you need some real commitment and that if that requires developing some habits and we have it's what you do every day is going to create the lock that she want right so and I don't have it I was so undisciplined that don't have it said that I had no success in any of those a very<br> not even character I could have used a little work on my character in those days to all of it so I went to work on developing some help if I made myself a tracking sheets now you know I love you talk to you about New Year's resolutions this is what I believe about New Year's resolutions is the people are sincere they fully intend to attend. Week they don't have good systems and like it's busy and you were going to get in shape this month and you bought the gym outfit you bought the shoes you thought the gym membership and you did it for a little while then a couple things got in the way you sort of forgot right it's almost like the other things take up our time and Priests and we just get pulled away from it if you have a good system and he's tracking sheets are the best for the bail fees for a simple little thing the bastard if you getting out of you think something like this to the doctor high but that was it becomes habit you're going to get in shape by if I can get The Hobbit working out 5 days a week I can develop that have I just have to remember long enough to get The Hobbit down<br> I use a tracking sheet I still put my workouts on my tracking sheets 40 years later but that's how you're going to remember us are going to keep hold of those New Year's resolutions when I get out to speak places if they give it to let me look at give me the choice that topic I'll talk about white systems are more important goals because of goal is the wishing part the system as to how to put it in the place if you don't have a system the golf probably not going to happen<br> yes I believe that entirely and so we talkin about that were talking about happens I love that you say be fully committed I want to and we only have about 4 minutes left so I want people to find out how that how to get to you but I just want to concur on the habits is learning how to put a system in place small habits consistently applied will create tremendous results in your life so I know people resist a busy at all I don't want to be boring I do I want more flexibility but really if you have good habits in a bit system you'll find that you have more flexibility in your schedule and freedom to be created in your life because you got some of those fundamental things you got them just put set up your life you know you're going to do it so I can keep how can I listen to always connect with you and find out more about life Mastery in and work with you in this area for like Master the book is available on Amazon<br> but the book is in hardback paperback Kindle and audible soon and that's like mastering on Amazon the website you can get the you can track you can download of tracking sheets on the website which is like Mastery info.com and you can you can email me at Sherry at life Mastery info.com if you have any questions<br> I love I love it I want to get that out for her audience so they can get that information because I love what you're talkin about tracking my background is in developing systems and I've been promised us for years running Hospital organization denied what I know what you doing track will soon fail so you do have to have a tracking system that's where you can see where you have some Bond abilities that you if you were tracking you could catch in the very beginning I want to just go back if you will permit me to do so and talk a little bit about this fully committed because I think this is where people get stuck in mastering life and mastering change because they have so many things going on in your life you know we live in the season with everybody else has to multitask but we have multitasking Lifestyles you know their parents who are mothers who are mothering with support time job and and who are they have a full-time job and who may still be in school and have a spouse how can<br> baby fully committed to a goals such as a business how could they help but with that look like if they say yes I'm fully committed you look at their schedule so what about 17 hours a day so busy and you don't have time to take care of you. And there's anybody actually there is a valuation and stuff went on the website as well but what we really want and we can't keep saying I want the certain thing and then not put any effort towards itself getting all this with ourselves as the first things I really want it and then if you want it bad enough that you're going to track it then you want it bad enough and then if you track it that the tracking system or The Hobbit the honeymoon phase and we will do the honeymoon phase The Hobbit right that's when were all excited about it last a day or week or maybe two weeks if we're lucky enough to push through the doldrums days until<br> I'm sure we are those are great words to Sherry you have been a phenomenal blessing to our show today thank you thank you<br> discover the power within Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to Everyday Beast with dr. dravon James<br> I'm back I'm Dr.Dre Bond James this is everyday piece your one stop listening for everything you need to do to live your life is your higher self and enjoying every minute of your life and I'm super excited to bring on our next guest Jenna Banks she is she is an author a speaker an entrepreneur on a mission to help women in brace loving themselves more I don't think there's a more worthy cause maybe I'm biased I just want to put that out there isn't this is the most wonderful and most delightful thing that I I mean that I have ever heard of is to say that you need to love yourself more will welcome to the show Jenna we can't wait to hear all about this<br> oh thank you so much for that lovely introduction I'm so excited to be here with you I love everything you're doing dr. James you're so is phenomenal everything you do to help people with my full of peas enjoying and living a full of potential I think it is really the ultimate and I really shifted my life I was listening to your last Gaston I personally ship made a huge shift in my life many years ago I just said no I'm going to live life being as happy as I possibly can and just pursuing my happiness and I'll tell you what it's never led me wrong once I made that decision like your last guest said it's no setting a goal and and working towards that and I believe in that 100% because as long as you're moving forward and living into being loving and cheerful as potential you will live a life of joy happiness and peace so I can vouch for that I love it I love it<br> I mean. I feel like this is like the stars in the moon lining up for us because I'm with this line up here today because I got to tell you when I read the title of your book and I know the book I will be out in March I love you more I just I can't stop smiling when I say that I love you be mad as a mom I have two kids in college and was married for very very long time 25 years and I hear it's not a popular thing to say people know about an encouraging you to write this book<br> well you know it's exactly what you just said people tend to cringe at. Especially us women you know why do we have a problem with saying I love me and then more write more than our kids more than our partners wait what you know what the what I have found is that in order to live a truly happy life you have to put yourself first it's kind of the opposite way we've been raised myself included here I go into detail in the book about your my background which was the bottom of the barrel essentially it's really amazing I still alive quite frankly because I almost died at my own hand I was I had a very traumatic background history with my father and my mother's home and so I was on my own<br> since I was about 16 in and I just I got to the point where I had no feeling at all doctor games it it is hard to explain and I don't know if any of your listeners I've ever been there but if so I can tell them I have been there myself and I know what it's like to feel completely emotionless and numb because I was such a sensitive child and all the trauma that happened to cause me to just go numb and I got the point where I didn't even want to live and I had multiple suicide attempt when I was a teenager the final one being when I was seventeen thankfully I didn't die but I was in a coma for many days and you know what I came out of that I just started down the path of focusing on my career and I ended up accidentally getting pregnant which really saved my life because it just started a whole new life for me it turned my emotions back on thank God<br> and I'm and you'll just started a whole new Journey For Me by emotions turn back on I don't know you know I truly believe in our energy into everything you talk about I am still on board with we are you know everything is energy and I started to really tune into that energy it's like all my senses came back 1000% went by once I get my lotions turn back on again and I just started noticing like social norms that it weighs we are raised like if they'll sacrifice for example as women I was doing a lot of stuff. Cuz I thing in my relationship as apparent as an employee and it would make me not fulfilled because I was putting my knee and my desired down at the bottom of the list my knees were not my priority my happy<br> it's not my priority but what happened is I found myself looking to everybody else to fill that gap for me<br> which end up being an unrealistic expectation right because when you pour so much of yourself into everybody else<br> you are you expect in return from others but no one truly supposed to be able to make you happy or even capable of. I mean imagine if you get into a relationship with someone and you could have done oh by the way I expect you to make me happy<br> it is silly when you think about it but that's how we were raised and so I just kept wondering why am I unhappy why is it not working and so I just talked to put my happiness first and iced I noticed a major shift I just happier everyone was happy around me my kid was happier my I was happy at my job everything started<br> working better in my life because I was coming from a place of being truly happy when I made myself happy and it really it really made all the difference in the world for me and of course came along that he might value instead of looking to others to set my values for me all these things that we were trained to do as children I had to kind of RA trained myself to do and it works for me since practically and so anyway that's a long-winded answer and I'm sure there are many listeners men and women who are listening today who can connect with so much of what you said one of the things that really stands out for me right now is you and you said that you know it how how is that one's word insane but how wrong does it sound to say oh I'm looking to someone else to make<br> me happy will be expert on you should be you right and if anything you should be teaching other people how to how to make you happy cuz you're the expert and you're teaching about you these things make you happy but what I have found over the years of working with hundreds of clients is that most people<br> that I have worked with do not know them self well enough to know what makes them happy they know what their pain or what distracts them from their self-criticism for a few minutes but the same<br> a person could do to become more self-aware about the 18-20 things if I were to go ask some of my clients will be sitting here looking at me like I don't know if it's all right why do you talk about this in the book there's a couple of things number one I like to have when I call my my joy list it's a really just a simple little less I put on a sticky note keep it by my computer to remind me everyday do something that makes you happy and it can be very very in fact it is usually the simple things in life that really for me it and it by the way it's different for everybody which is why I only we can make ourselves happy I like listening to a certain type of music it would be different then you know what a friend or boyfriend<br> whatever usually so my kind of music that makes me happy is specific to me so if I just turn on some music I get instantly happy if I go on a walk in the sun when I look out the side and I'm working all day and I see my looks like a beautiful day to take a little break go outside go for a walk in the Sun and you put in my earbuds music I love art cruising art for my favorite artist makes me happy I can be a little little things but if you make it a point I found to make yourself happy every single day not just sometimes when you're feeling depleted or<br> low or just okay like just okay is not at his own I want to be in me I don't need to be elevated everyday I need to feel like I'm still filled every single day and one way to do it now if you want to go into some more complex things for me is pursuing my passions and doing what I'm doing right now right now I wrote this book that's coming out on International women's day tell you that with a passion project then you know I only knew it would be such a passion for me as I started going down the path of doing it and so those things that I know everyone listening now if you're not doing some them something like that now I bet you you have something that you thought she'll be really cool to do this or do that but then we make excuses as to why we don't pursue it now I don't have the time I dream so you know that it's just not realistic and you put it off and you put it off you know what when you do those things<br> and you're fired up about it that is a way to make yourself happy and you to do it for passion don't worry about the money and all these other things if you were living passionate purpose it. Will make you extremely happy and then you gave some wonderful ideas and I hope our listening audience is encouraged and inspired by those ideas because really in any talk about that Joy list to do something everyday that makes you happy and that way you don't ever have a day that's just mediocre right because this is your life right we're not this isn't like a rehearsal this and find out what it is that makes you happy and what I'm hearing is that and you can feel something on the phone I'm saying but this is what I'm hearing is that if you don't know start trying thing<br> you don't hear that work I feel good when I did that or no it didn't and you cross off your list and you go on to the next thing because this is your life and you have to become the expert on you you have a great week. That's our job to become the expert on us and then when we get fortunate enough to start bringing in people into our precious world then we can teach them he knows hey this is what I like this is what makes me happy and then we can learn things about them and what makes them happy and we can participate in each other's happiness but we can never say no so many of us women were trying to your program condition whatever you want to call it to find out all the things that make your partner happy so you can make them happy wear lingerie I like to make sure you cook them a nice dinner all these things but we weren't hot hey what are the things that make you happy get to know them well and do them consistently because if you're happy<br> already come to a relationship happy and you're just going to create more happiness together but if your focus on making your heart partner happy and you don't even know what makes you happy that's a problem and it belies its failure and people wonder why is my relationship not working we need to go to therapy in this is not what I found is that a lot of times because we put all of our love and a basket of romantic love rather than and loving ourselves and when we focus on loving ourselves and building that relationship with ourselves which by the way is the most important relationship of our entire lives it's the one we're going to have our entire lies that needs to be solid some things I do to connect with myself and at night and by the way I do it everyday and I I just miss it when I don't do it which is just carving out a little time in the morning to just be 15-20 minutes to spend time with myself and you can do this<br> if you're in a relationship you living with somebody you got kids that doesn't let you can get up extra early and just carve out a little time for yourself that's just for you and and start journaling if you're not doing it already because journaling and there's no right or wrong way to journal I found you just literally right you you don't even don't think you're writing a book you don't edit yourself you just write anything that comes to mind and I found it to be a really great way to just get to reflect on the past day or think about the future and really connect with yourself because it's all about you connecting with you at that time and you know where we're told hey if you want to build a relationship with your your partner or your your boyfriend or your girlfriend or your kids some family things together that you dinner every night together but who tells us what to do to build a relationship with ourselves we haven't been taught how to do that<br> have a guess who's holding on me call her and let me see if I can bring them on the air<br> hello thank you for holding you on the air with about Trevon James this is the everyday piece showing our family guess today is Jenna Banks did you have a question or comment<br> that is so I'm going to put them back on hold and then my sandwich there was see if they need to get off but we'll just continue going on this wonderful ride that we're all in there so much that came to my mind when you talked about getting on and forming our relationship with yourself by spending time with yourself because the only way I exit I often say that the correct spelling of Love is t i n e because when if you meant a relationship with the impossible you don't know them. Maybe you have an infatuation maybe you have something but that definitely is not because Vanessa same thing about ourselves that I agree with you 100% that spending time with us it's so very important so with all the expectations of women today a lot of them<br> they know I feel guilty or selfish about putting myself first put your own oxygen mask on first and second with your man or your children it is required why is that so important important you said something really vital which was that most most people believe or most women especially that sells love is selfish and that was a big hurdle I needed to get over right away in the draft in the book because you know that is the biggest hurdle people have their minds like I said women especially because we think that were supposed to be putting everyone ahead of us and to think about ourselves we just be selfish no no like I can't put me first especially if I have kids are especially if I'm in a relationship but what I found your Easter<br> what is that even psychologists say that their clients come in suffering from what they call a fear of selfishness syndrome and what it does is causing them to be depleted wornson drained at even resentful and I don't know if anyone listening right now is ever been there I'm raising my hands because I've been there myself before I understood the importance of self-love especially in relationships and especially when you have a family is that you have to take care of your own how to make your happiness a priority when you do your energy changes and you just send me all this love and I'll tell you you'll get more of what you want when you're emanating love already it's like a magnet called Law of Attraction call it what you will but you're creating a beautiful energy when your harness in Your Love from with it then you're giving it to yourself when you're saying good job<br> all the time everyday hey Pat yourself on the back you just finished your task was oh you did a good job on that great job John I like Encourage Yourself give yourself love find ways to get when someone's to crossing a boundary I talked about this a lot in the book stand up for yourself rather than feel depleted in and just like oh God you know that didn't step up kind of yes when you stand up for yourself and you say Hey you know that's The Foundry I'm not okay with that we tend to think that it's selfish to do that but it's actually quite the contrary up so much research has already been dying many many many books out there that you know when we stand up for our boundaries and protect them and meet we actually it's a loving gesture for ourselves and also is a loving gesture for everybody else because we show them we are boundaries are now they know but there's so many opportunities to show ourselves love and when we make that a priority we have so much more love to give to a<br> buddy out beautiful energy just makes them want to pour my love on you so what you seek externally when you don't give it to yourself and U secret from others it's more needy kind of seeking but if you put it out there already by giving it to yourself you know you get more of it just creates This is Love Loop especially the difference between a co-dependent love right and then a right because he's always clingy and needy can do it because that we all have a little bit of that in there but I think as we work to have more relationship with ourselves and in it we can have a more healthy relationship with others which means that I love me and your dad are invited to also love me but my love of me is foundational weekend<br> hunt you absolutely nailed it that is absolutely Edge else and I wish that for everybody I wanted to take a quick moment here this is mentioned that the book comes out on March gives the date again for the international woman that I'm so excited for that launched a yeah so and it'll be released into bookstores it'll be an airport Bookstore Barnes & noble.com amazon.com online shops as well and people can pre-order now and they can even get there easily from my website which is Jenna Dash banks.com but if you're not ready to get more information I actually do have a free sneak peek in the book you can download right from my home page<br> and I think that you're going to sell out just based on the name of this book alone forever in which tin made better but I love me more is this it it it is Chippy the anthem and I know the book is geared towards women but I think everyone has to have a bit of this is there is there a theme song in your life if you will because what I feel is were talking here is that this is sort of the the glass half-full glass fully for the barrel that is if my Barrel is full to overflowing with love with self-love right and loving me then there is something to give freely to someone else but when I'm speaking at the bottom of the barrel of loving myself<br> is it blew the kind of love that I want to give somebody else that is that it's good stuff and you really want to be able to share with not only your significant other but with your your family and your you definitely with your children is how I think we can model a great healthy behavior and love love and relationships when we model that self-love for our children to see in the boundaries and yeah we definitely need to be a model of self-love for a children because ultimately we're just modeling the same behaviors we grew up with his way now so I definitely talk about that in the book and self-love and parenting and care-giving especially when it comes to if you're in the sandwich generation caregiving for your elderly adults and you have kids at home you know self-love is even more important in situations like that than ever<br> what is in who want to start on this journey of self-love the very first step that you would recommend they take it they have not embarked on this at all in your lifetime and where were they start what's the first thing that they can start doing today<br> what wow that's a good question I would say read my book but it's not out yet it is really the roadmap it is a how-to guide for how do you uncover the ways in which we don't love ourself and then how to love yourself all the ways so I wish I wish it was available now for people but because it's not I would say that a really great place to start today would be to start spending time with your self journaling just anything that comes to mind just write it down it's a really great way to get your know yourself better and you'd be surprised at what about when you don't edit yourself you just free flow there's no right or wrong no one's going to see it be surprised at what is in the Forefront of your mind that you start to see on paper and as you hand write it and actually is a way to slow down the brain and connect you more to the words in the feelings and all of that<br> spell if there's just one takeaway I could say that to start the journey that would be it for sure and do it every day every single day absolutely going to such good food for thought in their time together and talk to me about I love me more and the benefit of being in that place and I wanted to say that as we come to the conclusion of our show the one of the most loving things that I think we can do as far as we prepare for the end of 2021 and to move into our prosperous and peaceful and happy 2022 is the participate in our challenge here is everyday peacemakers make the list of things you want to continue in your life so something that's that's happening right now that you have preferred that exist in 2021 start riding those things that say Hey I like this I would like four more of this to continue in 2022 that's the number one messed-up number one list make a second list<br> the things that you would like to create in 2020 to write something that never existed before the new like to create and 12:22 and then something that you would like to change in 2022 so it is this maybe you need to tweak it maybe you need to remove it so you have that then also go on to the doctor dravon james.com and get registered for the virtual the free virtual boot camp like a boss on Doctor Dre Bond James this is everyday piece I absolutely love you<br> Jenna oh I cannot wait to read your book I'm going to go on your website tonight and Susan around on there<br> you've been listening to Everyday peaks with dr. Yvonne James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that leave you to your next level of greatness and I would love to walk with you on your journey here's the ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me again so is Archie drayvon james.com enrolling my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International enroll in the brilliant life 9 weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at Doctor Trayvon james.com purchase my book feed him is your first break from Amazon thank you for being an everyday Peacemaker I absolutely love you<br> thank you for listening to Unity online radio<br> the voice of an Awakening world<br> Unity started more than a century ago as a publishing house and it's still producing some of the finest books and spiritual products anywhere here's good news this holiday season everything in the unity online store is 15% off you'll find the latest books journals and card decks along with an El Famous intention Dice and a new pet puzzle this year send unique gifts to all your spiritual friends visit unity.org gift guide<br>