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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James, April 20, 2021

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Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James
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Finding Love During the Pandemic, and Reaching Your Destiny

Every Day Peace with Dr Dravon James

Finding Love During the Pandemic, and Reaching Your Destiny

The pandemic has left so many people feeling lonely, depressed, and unworthy of love, but clinical social worker/therapist Amanda Rosentel is on a mission to change this narrative for Americans. Plus, are you feeling stuck or oppressed? Patty Bear is a medical Qigong practitioner, life coach, author, and a former member of the Old Order Mennonites grip. Patty will discuss how to follow the call of your wild soul to your butterfly destiny.

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

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welcome to Everyday peas with Doctor dravon James
welcome to go and dr. Dre Bond James it is everyday piece I am super excited to be here with you today as we explore the concept of living a life of Peace everyday peace defined as wholeness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality I want you for just one moment to you your life at peace right now in this moment go ahead and inhale on that concept of Peace defined as holness completeness nothing missing nothing broken totality hold that Bradford is a brief second and then do a full-body exhale through your mouth because I'm here to tell you that yes it is possible to have everyday piece yes you deserve peace everyday and yes you can have every day piece we work together on this show to bring you the
topics and the guests to partner with you as you create your life of peace every day so I want to say happy Monday happy Tuesday happy Wednesday whatever day you listen to the show it is indeed a happy day and I hope your week started on a positive note too many people as you know view Monday with a dread the weekend is ending the work week and it's about to begin on Monday and some people just want money to end as quickly as possible listen I understand this reasoning and I have felt this way my many times in my life but in a week of just days are we willing to just throw one day away our anthem on the everyday piece show with dr. Dre Von James is what are we waiting for that is our 2021 Anthem what are we waiting for we have everything we need right here and right now to be our best selves
we don't need to waste another second before we decide to activate our best selves so Mondays Tuesdays anyway it should not be a reason to delay our journey back
to our piece by piece our everyday piece instead we could do Monday as a perfect opportunity to begin the week heading down the right path Monday doesn't need to deflate us it could and it should energize us that's why I'm so glad we meet here at the kick-off the week every Monday so we can remind each other to start the week on the right path I've been thinking about our last guest from last week and Dorothy Graham Odell had such great information to share with us she had a book entitled The Overcomer facing challenges with faith and courage and we talked about her challenges of overcoming struggle with self-esteem anxiety depression and family trauma
Dorothy offered great advice on how other people can deal with the issues of self-esteem low self-esteem anxiety and depression and even family trauma if you miss last week show or you know someone who would benefit from hearing some great information on these topics I recommend you go back and listen and and and refer other people to the everyday peace show you can access the entire library of past shows by subscribing to dr. Dre Von James everyday piece podcast on Apple Spotify Google Play and Stitcher or you can listen to them on Unity online. Org
you can also read transcripts of the recent recent shows on Dr Grapevine our brand new website the website you guys as you have been hearing me talk about for a while was being revamped we had her old website up there but we've got a face-lift look at new information I'm so excited for you to go on there and check it out a huge thank you to those who have already done so and sent me messages so I appreciate that you can't access words of encouragement and wisdom wisdom on the website excerpts from my book be damaged your Birthright access contact information and guess what else you can get free things we still have the free course out there creating Clarity and creating a path to your dream life will be launching a new free course in just a few weeks and you'll be able to get that there now you know that in the past we've been able to get free courses just by emailing Trevon James at
that still exist today but it is soon going away as we're working on new free products you'll only be able to access them through the course everything the website dr. Dre Von so please don't wait till the last minute but if you hadn't been to the website yet go to doctor Trevon James today bookmark the site come back at least a week so you can see all of the wonderful and again that website address is dr. Dre barn and that brings us to our everyday peace moment
we're talking about frustration today guys I was talking with a client recently about frustration now and everyday peace I teach and we know that we can use everything that comes into our lives
to become our best self and to drive us to success you know what I say everything it shows up in your life The Good the Bad and the in-between has shown up for one reason and that is to bow down and serve you as you consciously create your next level of greatness so when frustration shows up we know it has shown up for that reason we had many discussions on this show about how we can transform emotions into actions even emotions that seen by sum is negative witness and anger can be used to drive us any positive direction now I will admit frustration can be a difficult emotions to transform people associate frustration with anger and anger is often a component of Steel of the feeling of frustration but at the core frustration is a sense of failure I know there's that f word failure
racing results when we are not making progress and a task or a goal without achieving the progress as fast as we want to do use the phrase my mother used to say we feel like we're going around the mulberry bush will not having the results that were looking for we can tend to get frustrated because we're feeling this sense of failure the feeling of failure can be difficult to overcome
and doing these times it is critical to get back to our everyday piece so take a moment acknowledge what you're feeling we always start with eggnog put her head in the sand and pretend what happened we acknowledge this is what I'm feeling I feel frustrated it's up I feel like this is not going anywhere where they acknowledge that then take a deep breath and remind yourself that we are rarely successful on our first attempt it anyting every major success that we have had in our lives have been preceded by what's called mistakes or stumble it's not a failure that defines us it's our resiliency Thomas Edison once said I have not failed I've just found 1000 ways that won't work
and that is our everyday peace moment so I'm super excited with that we're going to welcome our first guests of the day and that is Amanda Rose and tell Amanda is a clinical social worker and a therapist she need to discuss a very interested buying of in the pandemic I've been looking forward to this discussion of this conversation all weekend Amanda thanks so much for joining us today
thank you so much for having me so I'm excited for you to be here because you know what the one thing I got to tell you that I hear from friends and colleagues and was that because of the pandemic my love life is suffering I can't meet anybody I know people that coach people who recently gone through divorces during the pandemic and they just feel like they can't get out of rut because they don't know how to go forth so why is focusing on self-love or look at me getting this way what is let's talk about how people in the why do you think that's even possible to find love doing a pandemic
well I think the pandemic has left us with a lot of time to are settled and knowing what we truly need and what we can do for ourselves in order to love ourselves before we can find someone else to love because if we can't love ourselves you can't expect to find a loving relationship and give love before loving internally so that's why self-love is so important and during the time that were in the pandemic we've had a lot of time more so than others to just be alone with ourselves in our thoughts and figuring out you know what we love and what we don't like more so now than ever because before we may not have looked inward to figure that out because they're so busy doing this or that this situation has gave us a lot more time that we need to look Inward and finding that inner self love helps us to figure out what we need and deserve from a relation
oh I love that so what the pandemic is doing is removing a lot of the distractions the things that take us away from our relationship with self absolutely I love that I often say when I coached people is that if you look at your your relationships they are a reflection of what you think about yourself right so you drawing in that energy so I agree the more of that we get to know our self we can work on some parts of Versailles was a higher quality of love into our life and I honestly believe that so understanding personal needs in order to transform that to a relationship how do we get closer to figuring out what it is we truly desire for my relationships
so we need to figure out what drives us like what are those you know thinking back to your childhood what were those things that you had fun doing what makes you want to get up in the morning what makes you feel empowered within yourself so that you can relay that to the relationship and that could be something that you provide to that relationship and the strength that you provide like when you do find that partner that you have you know that time left and then they're going to offer their strengths as well so in order to do that you have to find what your inner strength is but you're in our joy is in Remembering to have fun cuz you know again you know when you're busy doing things we forget to have fun and know what that inner Joy is and knowing what you need in your life in order to have fun and the basis of like relationship is communication yes but then you also want to have fun with each other you want to be friends first before
you grow that type of relationship because a lot of relationships the reason they fail is due to you know losing. Just light joy and childlike behaviors we forget about those when you're just kind of going about the hustle and bustle of life and you can't you don't have that time to have fun but now we have that time and you're trying to know people are still trying to figure out what that is to them and what that means to them and understanding what they need from a relationship and looking at your past relationships during this time to figure out what didn't serve you but also what did serve you and kind of making that list and seeing those different types of things that you need from a relationship
yeah I love that love thank you for that answer cuz I love that idea of finding your inner strength of your inner joy and do you have any tips that people could use especially now during the pandemic you know people are home more than what they are out and about but we do they start cuz I talk to people quite frequently who will tell me that I don't know what I feel like I'm not really sure how can they start the exploration of find out what their strengths are to find out what they really enjoyed
you can start with something as basic as setting a timer on your phone for 10 minutes and write down everything that you love from your childhood canal and they could just be words or places people things I know during this pandemic I wanted to get out more enough things are starting to open up I thought back to my childhood and I used to take the test lessons so things start to open up a little bit more I started to take papa-son's again and now once a week I go to tap class and I feel like that really brings out my inner joy and that's just time for me to see what I need I mean I have an amazing husband and two kids 4 and 5 I like that's finding that time with yourself and what you truly love so just setting a timer for 5 or 10 minutes and writing down everything you left it whether a cooking gardening whatever it could possibly be and it always helps to start with what you loved in their childhood any hobbies or activities
I'm talking help to start to get the gears turning in your head of what you could possibly still loved out you can bring that back out of You by just creating a list and maybe you can't get everything out at once but just kind of reflecting on that list every so often or every few days to keep adding those things that you just enjoy doing and then try doing them and see what it brings to you
oh I love the idea of writing that list and going back to your childhood and it's so interesting that you mention who danced I was just telling a friend that that's one thing that I love from my childhood to was you know taking pants and in the thing is that I'm hearing or feeling as you're talking is that those childhood things that we love or are part of our core you know whatever that is and it's never too late I love the fact that you're married you have two children and you were willing to go back and embrace this the joy of tap and dancing and their people Jose all of your well you're too old and too inexperienced but it really is just about you know maybe we should do professional level you never know but it's not even about reaching another level is about fulfilling a part of you that that exists in your love for this type of movement so it's astonishing how much I think we deny ourselves because we're looking for Perfection instead of looking for joy
absolutely in my husband does hockey on Thursday so we each have our day that we do the thing that we love actually build a nice relationship so how do we to know if we find out what we love you found your dance and your husband got his hockey let's say a new couple meets in and they do know they found their Joy how do they present the knowledge early in their in their courtship like this is who I am this is what I what I enjoy how do you mix that in there and in the early part of the courtship
definitely finding that balance that balance love spending time together and spending time apart during your individual activities and knowing what that balances for you because you don't want to have you no one of you spending all the time doing everything you love and not putting enough time into the relationship so you both need to be invested enough that you want to have a relationship and work on those Balance and that's why communication is so important and you know my husband I are constantly communicating I know it sounds like exhaust think that's a really good thing because you can't read someone else's mind so if you're doing too much of your thing
the other part in the other person's like feeling bad about that somebody needs to speak out there has to be a conversation to know like even from the beginning or you know by the 4th date or so okay well you don't I have you know some people play soccer or whatever you know this is what I do on the weekends or this is what I do here and are you able to balance that out and accept each other for who you are or can somebody give up a little bit more time to put into that relationship as finding that balance with each other and you know some people that look differently you know some people need that more alone time or more together time you have to find out how to complement each other in that respect
yes it doesn't seem quite individualistic like you have to know what works for your relationship but one of the things that I think it for our listeners suplee into is that it helps I hear all the men that I coach I hear sometimes I complain of women being very clingy or smothering and I think what you're saying right here is a way to prevent that is that if you have a task or something at Hobby that you really really love and you have designated to one or two days per week that gives your partner some breathing room and some expiration room of Pain by herself cuz it's not just men who fall into that category but and it seems like a great way to not only build a relationship but to preserve a relationship too because everybody has that individual time to really work on them breathing room
you always hear people saying that you want to get the the partner that the kind of love that you deserve I guess it's the best way to say that you hear that all the time don't settle get what you what you deserve this is tricky because while we all deserve to be loved how can we approach this just leave without looking for it or try to look for Perfection or make someone feel like they need to be the perfect person how can we get with what we love what we deserve without invalidating somebody
yes great question because I've definitely been in my share of unhealthy emotional relationships and you basically have to follow what your body is telling you if you're you know you're pulling away and I remember I used to say you know this relationship to go to know if I'm willing to settle that's not something you want to you know follow you want to know like in your gut you want to have that piece and you want to be able to trust so when your body is reacting a certain way you really need to listen to it and like trusting your gut in your heart to pull you in the right direction. Sometimes that you don't you make up these things in your head where you know I'm The Blind Side okay I'm willing to settle it or on the other side you could be too picky about it and then you end up losing great relationships and it's basically at the core is
the finding that person you want to be on a team with for the rest of your life that you want to create that good foundation of communication and teamwork and building a life together having a be perfect but just building something together and saying this is ours and this is what we created and being proud of that
yes and you said something that I love Amanda the body does not lie the mine can get really I think I mind sometimes you said that's like all this is what I could settle for me even if you don't use the phrase settle which may be a triggering phrase for us the mine has a way of trying to compromise a lot and saying well you know if it is a look at that maybe this isn't for you but you're but you're the body doesn't lie the body does give you certain Hues that it's uncomfortable there's something here that it isn't comfortable with it then and I think that's important and know well what are some things and he asked for something that is it could be happening in somebody if you could that would tell her that maybe this is a warning mean that it's a hard no but this could be something is going on and telling you that
maybe your check things out a little bit more what are some things that our body would do to give us those have two signals
okay yes absolutely like a lot of times I can just be like a pit in your stomach or is that weary feeling of not fully trusting them are always needing to know where they are that sense of control that a lot of in a relationship as that aren't healthy is like needing to know where the other person is or heating to like look on their phone and just having that urge of like something's off but I know a lot of the time it's a lot of people feel just like a pit in their stomach of okay something's offer I just don't feel right but I'm going to go through it with it anyway because this is what I have now because he or she checks all the other boxes right and you said it's a little bit and I think a lot of times there's a tendency to laugh that off is all I'm just nervous or is this is like really trying to communicate something to you that you need to look into a little bit further I love the
fact that our bodies are so in tune to a connected to our soul and let it try to give us a message if you would just slow down another good thing I believe Amanda that came out of this pandemic he said in the beginning is that these distractions we were we have more time to notice these responses that are self I think of pre pandemic we were so busy that a lot of times we didn't take a minute to realize gold yeah my stomach this for a little bit you know something's going on that is a slow down. It's really been good for us meet me at the have a few more minutes before we get to the end of our talk I would love for you to tell us how you work with clients how people can get in touch with you and anything else you'd like us to know
okay so basically I'm currently offering a three-month session. Where you can have contact with me 24/7 throughout that three months and I offer services that we can find goals that you're working towards or that you're stuck on if it's relationship-wise or with just low self-esteem or anything in those regards we kind of pinpoint what you need to do and I work with you based on your lifestyle lifestyle and circumstances to get you to a better place where you need to be mentally and you know what my background in therapy as a life coach that definitely helps to give me a lot more Tools in that regards and the best way to find more information and contact me is New U therapy. Org and
exactly what the relationship side of the I met my husband on so I'm definitely no stranger to online dating and that probably know most people are meeting during these pandemic times so I definitely have a lot of kissing things to offer when it comes to online dating I love it I love it and that's new U therapy. Org to work with Amanda Rose and tell and you know that leak is it left me to my next question really briefly and do you feel that in a minute women of all ages are looking for connections that's absolute truth are there are generational differences and recommendations at meeting for Millennials vs gen xers and part of that question for me was to people who are more comfortable or not comfortable at all with dating online
I found with everyone even from my twenties until an above basically online dating is just becoming much more common even without the pants on Deck so it's just kind of late you see what your options are but then you know meeting them outside of the online space to afterwards when you feel comfortable but you know I didn't like about 10 years ago when it kind of wasn't talked about that much and it would be like how did you need online dating and still kind of skeptical but it's definitely becoming more of a thing I definitely have a lot of clients to works I work through the self love with them and all of that even after divorce and then it was amazing cuz during the whole pandemic the I have a couple that they met during the pandemic and now there is able to look into great their life together and it's been such a magical thing
yesterday was Amanda Rose until that you can connect with her and New U therapy. Org
you and listening to Unity online radio
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create and build a life of your dreams welcome back to every Dave East was Dr.Dre Von James welcome back I'm dr. Dre Bond James this is everyday peace our next guest is Patty bear teddy bear grew up in a rather restrictive Mennonite and went on to become a Force pilot she work for airline how is the author the author and a life coach Joe Patti
that's wonderful to hear thank you and I got to say this again I told you just going to break every time I say your full name Patty beer I get delighted when I read you about your bio and you about what you done I could even more delighted so I am super excited to have you here today to share your unique experience and your expertise and the person we're going to open up with is This this term which I was new to is the butterfly Destiny we're talkin about reaching our destiny today with you and what is a butterfly Destiny and does everybody have one
show start with the easiest start first yes everybody does have one in fact everybody has many butterfly Destinies throughout their life
and what is it the Greek in Greek folklore the Greeks imagine the store was a butterfly that was their image for it and so if you think about the process that a butterfly goes through it starts out as a caterpillar and it's crawling around along on the ground and that's all it knows and it has no idea of what awaits it on the other side of transformation and it goes into this process then do the Chrysalis and everything that it is dissolves it's not recognizable its past form is not recognizable and the form that is to become it has no idea and for humans this is a really scary process in our lives when things dissolve when they disintegrate it's it's pretty frightening
but on the other side of that it comes out and in and a new life emerges and you have the adult butterfly and then it becomes the full fledged butterfly and on the other side of that transformation there's this beautiful colorful creature that can fly that the caterpillar could never have imagined could have happened to it and so each time we go through this process in our life is cycle we reach a new butterfly Destiny and then that butterfly just you know starts at that cycle over again and each time we do this it's like a spiral where we spiral higher and I heard you say in the beginning of the show about how everything in your life is it it's a has a purpose in life it serves you and I often say that trauma can sometimes be a path to Liberation that these things that we think of
that you never thinks when positive things happened to us it's easy to go oh yeah that's serving me right but when life falls apart and when it's not fun and it's painful it's much harder to see that it's serving you but that was that was my experience I grew up in this old order Mennonite culture among the plain people of Pennsylvania with our machine the Mennonites and adapted to life I expected to live it was a life where women were trained to be silent submissive obedient they sat on the opposite side of the church from the men they didn't have any voice in the church just a very you know very dependent life and on both sides of my family all the relatives that I knew for about 400 years back as far as I know everybody belong to this church this is the life that we would grow up lead and I expected to wear the long dark dresses that my mother wore the black Bonnets and I didn't know any different until
traumatic event happened and it upended everything and completely changed my destiny
wow that's a beautiful beautiful story and thank you for sharing it I want to go back just a little bit cuz the butterfly Destiny I love the phrase that another term butterfly Destiny and there was something that you said that each time and I want to paraphrase it properly but each time I guess you can plead or is it that you just face it you go a little bit higher so you get multiple butterfly Destiny's in your journey your life's journey and if I understand it correctly once you finish that one or complete that one then you have another one and it takes you a little bit higher than the previous when am I saying it properly
that is absolutely correct and you know the thing I would emphasize to is that we in order to go higher paradoxically we have to descend and so that place where we go into the Chrysalis is that descent into the darkness and on the old life is disorganized it becomes disorganized it's sometimes becomes chaotic it disintegrates at the dogs but that's all necessary it's like we have to make sure we have to clear out the old to make room for the new but yes you're absolutely correct each time we go through that process of transformation we come out higher and higher it's an upward spiral
so what happened that I could spend a whole hour on this I want to move along but I just want our audience to get this because I know they're people that are in different phases of their life they are listing a property listening audience where are the peacemakers and I want this really to be in encouraging point because we all know that life is cyclical right B we're and I heard this many many years ago I was very very young and discouraged when I heard it but I've lived long enough to know that it's true is that we are either in the middle of something coming out of something or heading into something right and so that's the life I am I was young when I heard that a man in my teens out of there no not me not me but yeah me to put in here is the truth of that and what you said is so true and I love the way you said it is that you first have to go down to come to Spring higher
when you said that I had this idea of when you're on those what's it look up the kids jump I can't think of the name of it now lyrics to you go deep into your down and you spring a pirate and then the further down you go the higher up you can go faster than the higher up you ever played on one of those and so wherever you are in your life I really want to be encouraged to Allison audience to hang in there keep keep your eyes focused on the fact that you will this is your butterfly effect your butterfly Destiny excuse me and you are you are going to come through this you are going to come through this better than you could possibly imagine so I just I love I love that I love that whole thing and you've written a number where we can talk about the books and everything else there's so much to say so I want to ask you this question before I lose it what is the difference between
oppression and being stuck in life
yeah so I think sometimes we can confuse these two and and so oppression is outward control so someone is objectively controlling you in some way restricting your freedom differences in the culture that I grew up in as a child the women were not really allowed to have jobs there was economic oppression so it's limited their choices that something that ended limited their power we have you can think of religious oppression which was that was a part of it but my father got shot
and what that meant is that when he when he left the church they he was out of the members of the church were allowed to eat with him they weren't allowed to do business with him it was very much an emotional
it was a breeze of punishment they they Define it differently but it but in actual fact it was a punishment so there's a suppression of if you leave there's a consequence of that is not about bad behavior it's about you you're not allowed we're controlling you course we see this with you can see this with dictatorships around the world do it's an outward
it is an outward control on sometimes I can be conditioning it's it's subtler it's been going on for so long it's a tradition and a family at the tradition in a culture that we're conditioned nobody has to tell us anymore what to do we just automatically do is because we come to fear some some result so that's oppression Doc is something different when we get out of the situation when we're no longer actually being oppressed we can still hold on to those beliefs and they can still impact our actions and our choices so
we may leave home and we're no longer children but as an adult child maybe we think what I should do this or have to do this without really questioning it so that's how that's how I would define those two different yeah I love that and it is sometimes a lot of work to one realize that you're stuck right in be willing to put the effort in to become unstuck I think about you know this hitting the circus they put the elephant the biggest strongest animal there and they're holding the elephant and plays with a small little stake in the ground and little in a little rope and the Elephant could easily break away but they know they've been oppressed or whatever they've been in that don't even try anymore so that's that's what I think of what I think you're stuck you know you are out of that situation but you're still there emotionally and mentally you're still in that situation and if
that to me is sadder to see because the realize that a person could move on they could move into their Destiny but because they can't figure out how to let go of these internal blocks they won't do that
yes it's a great example of Oppression sounds very daunting as it involves total control of another human being you know and we're talking about breaking free from being stuck with how do you break free agents to do that
Quest Channel I would say this you either always breaking free or life is breaking you free and so sometimes when we break free we used to do that we consciously set out maybe maybe we start a business or maybe we can get out of a relationship or maybe we moved to the other side of the country we do something like that consciously because we choose to the lights also comes along and breaks Us free and sometimes when that happens we feel like we've done something wrong you know we've been bad and somewhere we made a mistake but my experience with you know I write about in the book has happened to me when I was 8 years old so objective Lee your readers can under or your listeners can understand that I didn't do anything wrong you know I was just part of this system but the system as a result of my father my father got shot and he became berserk and he took his case public he took his
Republic and yeah I made the front page of the New York Times and he was in The Washington Post multiple times in these National newspapers over the course of a decade was in newspapers all around the country Canadian television and it would end it was just a very searing experience for us children to be exposed like this because he had
he had a he was regarded as like a folk hero and people did not know the trauma that we are experiencing the violence that we are experiencing at home and that we were living on the run and they used to send us letters and so there was this whole is whole
circumstance that was like a pressure cooker and out of that I looked at it and I decided I'd ever wanted to have my mother's life I was going to do something different I had no idea how to do it and still in a lot of ways the situation broke me free from this tradition is 400 year old tradition because otherwise I would have joined that church I would have lived my mother's life I I just always knew that and so we can happen two ways we choose it or it chooses us and life will break you free
I love that you said the beginning that we're always breaking free or life is breaking us it remote that you know every day we get up you have to make a decision again we have to read the side of firm ourself to whatever it is we are moving towards because if not we'll find herself not you know reaching our goals we've got to make that decision Every Day remake that this is really commit to that plan every day because it's a thousand and one things that are here as distractions or you know the oppression of the mind and physical questions that are there so making that decision to break free and to move forward is important in any daily process
can you describe what it is the call of your wild soul with what is it and how do you hear it
yeah tell your call if your wild so is basically your inner knowing it is the voice of your soul and it caused you to Adventure it also calls you to do
when you go through that process of devault dissolving on the other side of that has life begins to reorganize and a new life is built my experience was that it calls you to this path of breadcrumbs and you don't know where that's leading your soul knows where it's leading but you don't so for instance for me I was called to I won this race when I was in 8th grade and as a result of it I got recruited to the high school sports team which was not something we did in our culture and then my brother told me he heard that I wanted to be economically independent and I figured I would probably have to go to college though from our background neither the man nor the women typically went to a college because you would have felt that you would get educated away from the truth
but my brother told me to take all the hardest classes I couldn't I listen to him and then when I was in 10th Grade he talked me into taking flying lessons which I did not want I had no interest in it I got are stick and but there was something about it that was like yeah just do it so I
check a couple lessons and then I was like well I guess I'll solo and then I soloed and I was like well I guess I'll decide to get my private pilot's license and I didn't have very much money I paid for this all myself I worked after all weekend Summers and had no idea why I was even making a living it as flying in those days it was It Was 1980 and then one day when I was in high school there was a an announcement over the loudspeaker and it said there's a Cadet from the Air Force Academy in the guidance counselor's office and if you want to hear what they had to say and for my background where we weren't allowed to serve in the military weren't allowed to vote I didn't even know what that was but I was like this and something to do with flying and you know I didn't have anything else to do so I went in
and my whole trajectory change out of that 180° from where I had grown up and I graduate from the Air Force Academy and I became an Air Force pilot aircraft commander in the first Gulf War and just retired 28 years as a just retired as it's a Triple 7 captain for the airlines that came from this little inner voice that I would hear a psych it's not loud the voice of the soul is almost never loud what are the ways you hear it sometimes it send it or knowing it's an intuition sometimes as it was with my brother someone else says hey you should do this right and something about that's like okay sometimes it's a synchronicity you hear something there's an opportunity that comes available and all of these things of the ways in which your soul speaks to you and pulls you along with your unique destiny
different from anybody else in the world and only you know that and you can you can discern the voice of your soul
I pay attention to it using Common Sense certainly risk analysis you know you don't just throw out and it itch it will call you to just sometimes risky things but not crazy things generally and it Devore you listen to it the more Adept you become at this earning what is this quiet Whisper of your soul and if you follow it and it has always it rarely takes you where you think it's going to take you but what I always say is it always takes you to the essence of your desire what you truly want what truly makes you happy
you have said so many key things here in this talk and that in that answer so I want to go back thank you for that this in your inner knowing but it's an inner knowing and there is I am the place down in my own life and I'm speaking for hopefully a lot of our listeners to that I do I can feel that pull but there was a point in my life get and I remember vividly where I if you would have said that my internet going it would have discs with a frustrated and we talked about frustration in the beginning of the show but I would have felt like I don't know I don't hear an inner knowing and but I love how you came back with this and this is I think he he calls you to Adventure
right and Adventure feels is it sounds good when you're coming up in the kid is a kid on the couch reading a book but when you're in a think about Adventure it sounds all my goodness can I afford that and what about the kids what about the house and what about the mortgage what about this but if you go back to the route this is an adventure
write what is an adventure yep people that you know please do use your common sense and run it through a risk analysis you're the voice of your soul is not some Guru cult figure you don't have to listen to it all that it asked of you is the considerate I've gotten guidance years ago I was sitting and I went to Quaker Meeting for a while and the idea there is you you know sort of had a direct
you're basically really tuning into the voice of your soul and I heard this phrase and it was like a sentence or two
and I was like what am I supposed to do with that I am I supposed to stand up in a part of the tradition there was you could stand up and share it with the the rest of the congregation if you wanted to and so I kind of tuned in and I was like am I meant to share this and I couldn't really feel anything at said it was meant to share it so I was like the only thing that was clear was that I was to write it down and remember it word for word and so I did and I couldn't find any relation to anything that was going on in my life at that time but I wrote it down and I remembered it and it wasn't until 20 years later that it became of used to me that I realize what it was there for and it was in writing this book in my Memoir on there was about how to tell the truth and I was like oh I got it so and I have another friend that says guidance always arrives in advance of need and so when you get guidance write it down
honor it you don't have to follow it you don't have to do anything with it write it down pay attention to it if you get an intuition honor that at least give it consideration that it might be you know guiding you in a particular direction and then do your homework does it make sense can you afford to do it can you afford to do it at this time in your life
I love it so you're going to do you going to feel going to lean into this is what I'm saying this is me paraphrasing you stop me anytime it's raw but what I'm hearing how was translating in my mind is lean into that adventure and when you're leaning into that Adventure you know do do your risk analysis do the adult thing figure out where you can build in some safeties in your you know but lenient because there's something on that Journey for you that is going to have this yeah so that's this is but if it's going to take you to your butterfly Destiny so to speak so I think that is just amazing this a whole to Call of the Wild sold and I want to just end it we're almost out of time that I want you to tell us how to get your book and all of that but I just want to say one other small thing that I heard you say there is that the voice that speaks to us as soft
it doesn't scream like all the other voices and I always so that requires that for me as I think about that my own life how I connect to that you don't have to call it meditation you don't have to call at 3 or I call it silenced you do not spend some time in the Silence of the me to do that is to be out in nature in some form or fashion and just be silent listen to the called The Call of the Wild sometimes when I'm walking and there's all kinds of Critters and there's a beautiful sounding birds and all of a sudden I can hear the sort of like Whispering inside of my sub not even like a word is like More Than A Feeling but the strong enough to call it a conversation and I think that's where we find that silent that silent presence that knows everything
yeah that's so true I get it when I'm running I get it when I'm moving and if I went guidance I simply asked a question I just throw it out there and then I don't worry about it and it comes with my mind is calm I don't meditate I don't I don't do any of that I just asked a question. That you can't everybody has a different method I just asked a question and then the answer arrives usually arrives in quietness and like you said it's it's a quiet answer it rarely shouts
yeah it's a quite as if there's something to be said about having this time to herself and being in this place of of of of Silence to tell us a little bit about your books and what you're doing with with what's next for you how we can connect and stay abreast of your of the wonderful work that you're doing
Fiesta to my first book was called House of the Sun the Visionary guide for parenting in a complex world I wrote that 4 years ago and I recent book is a memoir called from plane to plane by Mennonite childhood a national Scandal and an unconventional sort of freedom and sort of ladies out the framework as we were talking today about what it looks like an actual story of what it looks like a real life story what it looks like just follow this Call of the Wild soul and to your butterfly Destiny and you can get that online it's on Amazon Barnes & Noble Indy books books a million it's audiobook form Kendall all the different forms so that's what I'm doing and I in the future when you can contact me on teddy bear author page at say on Facebook or Patty at the Flying Club. Scuse me Patty at the Flying Club. Com
in the future I would like to write more about the butterfly Destiny and the hero's journey which is very much the same so that's why I have a feeling that matter what you do will be following because it you have an amazing story this is dr. Dre Bond James you listen to Everyday peace I absolutely love you I hope that you find your destiny and follow it to the end talk to you next week
you've been listening to Everyday piece for dr. Dre Bond James you have the power right now today to make the decisions to take the actions that lead you to your next level of greatness and I would love to walk with you on your turn to hear some ways we can connect schedule a coaching session contact me at info at dr. Dre by James. Com enroll in my online university course to 2020 Clarity court at The Institute for leadership and lifelong learning International in role of the brilliant lights 9 weeks online coaching session with me and Keisha Dixon info at Doctor Trevon James. Com purchase my book feed him is your Birthright of Amazon thank you for being and every day Peacemaker I absolutely love you
thank you for listening this is Unity online radio the voice of an Awakening world
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