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Bringing Intimacy Back, July 8, 2021

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Bringing Intimacy Back
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with Dr. April Brown, cohost Dr Kelly Bushey and guest John Meyer

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April Brown, cohost Dr. Kelly Bushey and guest John Meyer

Bringing Intimacy Back

Show Host

As we look around in this world today, it seems we are becoming more disconnected from one another, even though we have the technology to connect to more and more people than ever before. Furthermore, the lack of intimacy (in its many forms) is one of the top three reasons why relationships struggle and many times end.

Thus the Bringing Intimacy Back talk show is a show dedicated to inspire, enlighten, and encourage intimate connections. This show provides an engaging atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to enhance intimacy in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. The show will discuss intimate connections in many different forms, such as sex, communication, emotional, physical, health, and spiritual. In fact, research has shown that as we increase our intimate connection with ourselves, our Higher Power, and others.  It will help decrease the conflicts, anxiety, and depression in our lives.

THE MISSION

Increasing intimacy for all has become Dr. April’s mission. The mission statement of the show is to provide an atmosphere to discuss and demonstrate ways to increase closeness in one’s personal relationships with significant others, families, friends, Higher Power, and oneself. Therefore, Dr. April started in February 2018 to host her own new Radio/TV Show Bringing Intimacy Back where she and other intimacy experts will provide resources and tips on increasing intimacy in all types of relationships. Audience members will be able to transform their relationships through relationship experts’ insights, useful and practical resources, role-playing, and audience participation. The show’s goal is to show its audience members that intimacy can be alive and real in the relationships we desired.

Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

welcome to the brain intimacy pack show we are intimacy is real if you desire to intimately connected with yourself your significant other children and family friends community and your higher power this show is for you. We explore intimate topics inspiring life story beer Tuality and insightful tips on strengthening relationships this show is hosted by doctor is dr. Kelly now let's get this episode of the brain intimacy back show started because we share with you the secret power to intimacy to create the life you love or love the life you create now here's your host dr. April in Cohoes dr. Kelly is real yeah it's been a while I know we seen each other bit of a break there. Draper was nice to have a break there but it's great to be back yes definitely I'm especially interested in today because why
the reasons that I we met is through Hodges University and yes yes and I know people may not think well it's kind of sexy definitely isn't an Alexa in Alexa sexy that's part of it there's a motion and yeah I'm really looking forward to it I wanted to say because dr. Meyer is one of the most Visionary Visionary leaders that I've ever had the privilege of working for and have a vision that is really important so I'm looking forward to today and hearing all of that interacts with intimacy yes definitely and like you said that intellectual intimacy where our brains are stimulating is so important I'll go before we get started of course we want to unload our members now that I'm BBS radio we have a radio membership program so if you're interested in supporting a bi bi a guess would be I be is now this
starting this month you know what it is no what is it did I miss yes it is a non-profit great yes because we want to stimulate talks about relationship it's Mitzi and we want to educate and we also do as you know a lot of different donate charitable organizations and this month's organization is the American icaria P Association and what they do is they help our therapist and people connect because therapy can look up variety of different ways instead of using art you know I am to stimulator to help heal wounds is amazing so if you're wanting to do go to members. Our therapy. Org donate now so that is wonderful and bringing it to Missy back of course is always taking donations
right now we're non-profit so bring it on
yes well let's get on yes definitely but let's get on it talk about a topic today education in intimacy yes your background is in education as well correct doctor April yes yes yes I'm kind of business which is cuz he makes it sound like you're so sexy yeah yeah yeah and then I kind of fell into education in the sense of Counselling School counseling and then mental health yes right so let's talk about dr. Maya one thing that doctor Meier has going for him not only is his intelligence and as you can when you guys get to see but he's also married to a beautiful woman named Jennifer and they've been married for a number of years and he is actually the president of Hodges University which is a university
I worked at previously and I know doctor Kelly is worth that and it's a great University for people who are thinking they want to go back to school
which is awesome because when you do go back to school that improves your own self intimacy oh yeah yes yes yes what you're talk about later non-traditional students then I was a non-traditional student also when I went back to school cuz I went back in my thirties and it can be intimidating so today's topic audience was quite a few people right definitely yes yes and so he joined Hodges back in early was it 20-17
and that's when he became president of project yeah but he doing I'll just wait before that cuz I think he was there before I got there and he is now the president so let's welcome talk to Meijer
nothing. The mayor nice to be here hello doctor Kelly Meyer just hard for me to call you dr. Kelly-Ann but I'll do my very best for the duration of my bath two in one of the reasons that doctor April wanted to have you on his because when you do talk about business it really is as she said it's sexy it interests people and education is intellectual and not only that I remember signing up for the recent HSA last year because you made it understandable so I look forward to today as we get started. Meyer what is your definition of the word intimacy
oh that's a good one
it depends on the context in which you use it right so I think in the popular usage when somebody says intimate or intimate one typically thinks of romantic interpersonal relationships and up to probably to the uninitiated in the uninformed that might mean the more physical aspects of an interpersonal relationship but to me intimacy I certainly encompasses those things but one and and should for example developing an intimate understanding of One's Own Self right you should know yourself intimately and by that I mean know what you really want to be what you really want to do what you really believe that you're capable of what may be even more important than that what's your purpose in the world is so I think one can know one stealth intimately and then that gives you a level of intimacy I think
there are other forms of intimacy you had mentioned earlier dr. April about education being important that I think one of you said it was sexy which I kind of appreciate
when you're teaching students their it behooves the professor to become intimate or to gain an intimate understanding of her knowledge of his or her students by that I don't mean anything romantic or sexual or anything like that I mean to try to get to know you were students as time and resources allowed to know what it is they're expecting to get from whatever it is you're trying to give the right so if you're teaching a class what is it how do you best reach that student how do you best frame the subject matter such that he or she is ready to embrace it and willing to understand it and I think that involves a certain level of intimacy
yeah definitely and I'm signing off with the first thing that you said it's at that self intimacy how did you cuz I think I believe from understanding your story from before the you are also a non-traditional
student need to find what that means and how did you start your journey so I was what we would consider to be a non-traditional student but let me just maybe clarify that term so if you are the federal government you might Define a non-traditional student as a female student who's studying automotive technology and get it fixed car or a male student who is studying to become a registered nurse and all they mean by that is a is someone studying a profession or entering into a profession that is typically and historically been represented as greater representation from another group I don't think that's I think this is the sense in which we colloquial use it which is
someone who is not the traditional age to go to college so we typically think of a traditional student as someone was 18 or 19 years old going off to college for the first time looking forward to dinner parties and drinking beer and and debauchery and the maybe the occasional philosophy class or something and I'm going to take six or seven years to get through reading of the end of course alone facetious here that would be a traditional I was not that I did one week of that and realize that was absolutely not for me and it was stunningly strikingly apparently miserably not for me it was absolutely not I was just that emotionally or honestly physically ready for that I I was not prepared to emotionally Embrace what was going to happen in school and one of my professors were going to expect me to be able to do I wasn't going to get anything out of it what I wanted to do was go fix car I wanted to go to work
roll around in the dirt so then later when I became an adult and game responsibilities and was making mortgage payments and have children and did all of those things you get to a different kind of know the iso level you come to a place in your life or you say this is not really what I thought I was signing up for when I was 18 years old and I want to do something different is the world is structured in such a way that unless I go back to school so I came back actually to this very institution this is how I got introduced to this institution was when I was 36 years old are you when you are a mechanic that whole time I was in the Titanic
I'll leave that to you to decide but yeah I know I wish I was a mechanic I ended up running my own business in recovery I was thinking of you work with your hands there's no way I will succeed in school you know what I mean that. I mean if it's about the intimacy with oneself when you're doing an occupation like anything that Ray is related to using a lot of math and you're using a lot of science I don't think that you are a carpenter and you're cutting angles in your imagining how something's going to be structured and how you're going to support it and how much weight is going to have to carry those are all scientific and mathematical problems that you are simply solving in a practical way right it's not a theory
Electronics fixing air conditioners which is about thermodynamics there's a lot of these kinds of things that the average person who does this Express in those terms but it is and if you can do that why can't you be successful in school
wow oh my gosh I just so amazed by you cuz you went from a young age of 30 something as a mechanic University yeah that another young age I do know you look like 40 something but thank you very much for a young age that this wasn't for me
I have some way from that and some people would stay in it and then they just don't have the passion or fervor and you had that what was it within you that made you step away at that time away from the trade away from the education you were like this is not for me to a local
probably at the time in school very similar to what we are all those a liberal arts school for traditional a student but it was kind of a commuter College as well and I remember signing up for all the courses and one of them was on a European history or something Dreadful and there were two or three hundred instead of liberal arts courses that I would have had to take an I remember sitting in this dark wood all wood room with old furniture in a musty odor and you know the professor with tweed patches in the whole thing and I was 17 years old and I'm sitting in this classroom going I just got done with this I just spent in all of my life going to school I just did four years of high school I want to do this anymore I really don't like it I really don't understand it and in in in a way that only a teenager to do right I was completely negating everything that they had offered because I didn't see how it apply to me to me it wasn't real
and I was not interested and then it was a short jump from there to where is the exit
now my parents on the other hand were adamant that I go to school so there was some a different kind of intimacy in the household here for weeks before I go back to school where you
in a relationship I was married and I had children and
I interesting me when I had my business I had hired an accountant to help which is in what most business people will do to keep track of things and prepare tax returns and what not and he kept encouraging me to go to school and I remember telling him that Frank which happened to be is named you know you said well you know you never know you should go back to school right was a smart guy and it kind of was in the back of my head for a couple years there and so we move to Florida and I realized very quickly that there was certainly and was gainfully employed that wasn't going to be a sure I could start another business that wasn't going to be the issue the issue was how do I get out of the automobile repair business it was starting to take a nap and I have a negative effect on my my my body I'm simply not you know it's tough on the back and stuff on the shoulders
it's physically demanding and I was getting older and I thought I'd just this is not a good idea for me to try to do this forever and in order for me to do something worse to reroll how do I do that when is the next step well the next episode yes yes and so for many people were there at that crossroads some people out there listening they're like oh my gosh I'm at a crossroad and how education help Blossom a variety of things we're going to take a break when we come back we're going to dig deeper into education and intimacy me what does it mean do you pick Knology enhanced classroom
later plus you have these choices every time your class meet in person fly from your home or wherever you are for later the choice is yours
are you going to take a vacation in Paradise a vacation to rekindle the passion without the kids where you can learn how to communicate where you and your partner are actually hear each other in the game inside if so vacation counseling is your next vacation April Brown who created vacation counseling and Southwest Florida as a perfect option for you and your partner our Retreats are one couple at a time we have a variety of packages available to choose from including virtual Couples Retreat if you and your partner interests in the vacation counseling please visit us at vacation counseling.com for more information on pricing and packages also follow us on Instagram and Facebook to keep track of the latest news stories activities or coupons on vacation counseling and dr. April's other services we encourage you to still have to receive a monthly newsletter called intimate connection at doctor
braun.com remember if you and your partner are struggling with communication and intimacy and you are looking for a retreat to connect vacation counseling next vacation in Southwest Florida
welcome back to the bring an intimacy show where intimacy is real the we've been talked with dr. John Mayer that president of Hodges university schools that I'll have connections with and so talk to Maya you were in school the doctor might ask him until I saw you at this Crossroad yes that my life's got to change and you chose to go toward education how does that impact you your family tells about that
honestly dr. April it was frightening I'm just sort of thinking about it now it is and I got a little chill it's so you go to this place here you are and here I was 36 years old I'm a grown man responsibilities family all of these things and a charge of my own destiny for the inside reached maturity rice out all steps to hear whatever was 15 years old should my freedom and commit to doing something that I was only marginally successful with an ice cold to be brutally honest so commit to doing the actual Pursuit something that had eluded me before something that although I was willingly doing it I also knew that I was
it wasn't a hundred percent my choice because if I wanted to do something else with my life this is what Society for want of a better expression was going to tell me to do and really at the end of the day I was insecure am I going to be able to do this then I remember my first week at what was done International college team Hodges University being scared the first I have every class and going home the first night of every class feeling very very good about the choice that I make so large measure that was the professor's that was the other students in the class I realize that they were all like their all in their thirties or something they were all at a Crossroads in their lives are professors all understood that accepted that Embrace that Taylor the educational experience to that and it was it was great I felt like someone took the top of my head and pivoted it open don't do a lot of stuff in an enclosed it back up and so really
it was a piece of cake
they're all here went away and became
it's a lot of work but it wasn't drudgery it was enjoyable
in fact I stayed in and got a master's degree and course we're calling you dr. Meyer so must be such an encouragement to our listeners and those people that may be thinking about that that intimate step with themselves this is personal journey and you know I'm just so encouraged by your your openness and intimacy dr. April always says that's into me you seeing that you as busy as you are would take the time today to talk to our listeners and then to share your journey and just saying just to imagine you nervous before something it's a little bit of a far reach for me so thanks so much for sharing that truly because I think there may be people listening even now saying okay it's okay to be non-traditional
so is I think it's better than okay I think it's the ideal way because when you're when you come to school a little bit later you have that 15 years before where you were living and working in an active adult participant in the world that's all that you K tional to you just may not be realizing that I should going through it when you get there to a higher education experience to go to college for all of these things that your faculty members are talking about suddenly you can translate those into your own life and it's your own experiences I actually learned as an adult and I am confident that I would not have learned as a more traditional each student
yeah one of the things I have a question about cuz I did go back to school as when I was headed out and that everybody in my family was on board because people think of when you go back to school how are you going to have time for the wife how you going to have time for the kids I don't know did you get any pushback I was fortunate in that regard I did not I got a little bit I suppose here and there when I'd have to in a really do a lot of studying and writing paper or I needed to be I don't work well when there's a lot of noisy distraction so I would have to go off into another room and close the door and I was very fortunate in that my wife my children were young and my wife was
she was actually the one that had pushed me into going to an open house at the University in the first place to see if I can find so she was she was very supportive of the Endeavor but it did in order for this to work well and I seen this on the faculty for about 15 years. An awful lot of students who were in this same kind of Life circumstances the ones who are going to be like we're going to have to easiest time at the most fluid time with this are the ones that do have the support from home
they don't know I'll get it in fact a large number don't get it and a large number will find that the level of strife goes up at home maybe that's because one member of the partnership is going in the other member feels Left Behind or one member is transitioning into another industry or is going to make more money or is going to have more power or so often you'll see I saw what is a faculty member I never fortunately experience that for Spanish but as a faculty member I did see that an awful lot of students in you that you can often see it written on their faces because it's trouble
right right one of the things you stated about the university that your president of Hodges University, said your experience was the connection with the professors and that she talked about intimacy early are you talking about how as The Professor when they make those intimate connections
you know and with the other students cuz you realize that you're not alone so you can see that I want a really clear nobody's crossing any inappropriate about the human being held for commencement ceremonies and not this one last year because of covid-19 to put the brakes on hugging but in a traditional normal pre-pandemic time and hopefully next year will be far enough behind that we can go back to that watch The Faculty members as their students are coming across the stage and getting their diplomas they will rush they don't walk they rush to the end of the stage where the skin comes off the stage gets the picture taken and then turns to go back to his or her seat and watch the tears watch the hugs watch the handshakes watch the congratulate
pats on the back watch the smile it is it is a compelling thing to witness and it's genuine I started working of course with people who just enter and how they feel bad for stration and then to see those growth of two two years or whatever if it takes them to finish and that I mean how does it feel when you get your degree
so I would always start I talk when we used to have called a wheel which is a one-year period of nine different classes until like a Coke or so I would have the same students always for a year and I always tell them in the orientation before the class actually started don't think about today I'm getting to this point today. Don't think about the next X number of years don't even think about the day of graduation and getting your diploma think about the day after that and all the days to come after that start thinking about today but you want that diploma to do for you in my
with each degree that I earned it was actually an anticlimactic moment because I would get the piece of paper
and I'd look at it and go well this is nice I have them on the wall here you know this is nice but it takes a while to sink in and you really realize this later maybe it's a monthly five months later but if you can think about it in anticipation the degree all by itself
it's just a piece of paper like people say it's how do you use it what did you get out of the process leading to it and what is it how do you what kind of doors do you expect us to opener how do you expect it to open the doors how are you going to use it that's another one of those moments we have to go back inside your own head and say what is that I want do I just want to go to school so I can say I've got a Bachelor's degree or do I really want to get an education do I really want to learn something and do I really want to be able to use what I've learned out in the world
so it's a different Spirits in that ladder weigh
you know with non-traditional students thinking back to the recent graduation for Hodges University and non-traditional student wasn't there a mother and a daughter that graduated on the same day yes and that was I mean people just a plotted and so what could be more non-traditional than graduating with your mother and that wasn't the only time we've done that we've had I think almost every graduation we've had combinations like that we've had husbands and wives graduate together we've had mothers and daughters graduate together is interesting anyone has 72 yes yes yes yes and so what that did for her and what that do does for all of us and Tempe
so maybe thinking as they're such as we're talking about this education cost so much money is it really worth it
so that of course is the million-dollar question no pun intended today with the amount of student loan debt outstanding in the country and people are concerned about that but I would offer this
let's stay and you know as they say on TV your mileage will vary let's say that you're of the degree or the educational Pursuit that you wanted get will cost $60,000 and 4 years
pick numbers out of here if if you spend $60,000 on a degree and then and you got a piece of paper you put in a wall you never change your life you spent $60,000 on you spent $60,000 on an education if you spend $60,000 on a proven yourself if you spend $60,000 on something that let you do your purpose or do what you really want to do the best investment you'll ever make because no one will ever take it away from you and alternatively you could do it a lot of people do and go buy a pickup truck according to dr. Kelly you can buy a really nice pickup truck four doors the whole thing right for about $60,000
the difficulty with the pickup truck is if he needs to be taken away from you the minute you put the key in the ignition is going to claim it is going to rush into a pile of dust right before your very eyes and it will be worthless in all it 15 years meanwhile the $60,000 she spent on purpose only appreciates in value over time so yes you can make the argument that 60000 is a lot of money in it if that's number were using and it's expensive you can also make the argument that what is the rest of your life worth today
I love how you put that I'm sure that some of our audience members we are lied so if I just want to remind you that are listening you can call in for 888-627-6008 and ask Dr Meyer questions
yes I love how you put that education is an appreciation asset
yes it does I think that it is and I'll talk to you about that when I worked with in the counseling practicum student starting off and then when they finished how their self-esteem their Southworth
difference in psychology yes of course I see that and I also rarely see people regret that I have never heard in 20 years of what 14 with Hodges University in and then another College in Scranton Pennsylvania I have never met anybody that regretted getting their education. They may have regretted getting a student loan when they could have worked during it or whatever but not one single person if I met that regretted getting their education
that's true I don't know that I have either I think though it's important to choose the right education so I know for example did if I pursued Elementary education I would have regretted that
yes yeah but you know what else also I think people don't realize it's sometimes even if you start off in a bachelor's in one area it's okay to switch do your Masters cuz my undergrad what's business and I don't regret doing that because of course I buy my practice now and that's absolute absolute work with the students and faculty yet I just University I suppose I I I like analogies all the time so off and I will try to find an analogy that I think is going to work with the audience and I'm working with almost everybody at least drive the car so you can find an analogy that will work there
yes yes
I get that I get that because I'm from Michigan and so when you said pics 15 years trust that was like Mom maybe in Southwest Florida one of the things that I actually learned when going back to school was about the importance of cuz people always talking about their families is loading quality time with your loved one so you can go back to school and it's more about the quality instead of just the quantity that makes sense I don't know if I would argue if our use the word that I want that
if you if the time that you spend with your children or with your spouse or something like that it's time that is fully dedicated and devoted to them even if it's freaking even if it's a half an hour a week or our weeks if the focus is fully on that there is value in that for everyone if on the other hand you come home at the end of the day you grunt hello you grab a beer you sit on the couch and you watch Barnaby Jones or whatever it is it's coming on television and you never say another word and then it's a peck on the cheek and you go to bed you spent a whole lot more time but it's it's there's been no engagement
so it's a conscious decision I I think whether you're going to have that engage when you're not so to me that's not a mutually exclusive thing with pursuing it another life so yeah I'm going to go back to school I'm going to spend a lot of time doing homework and writing papers and studying for exams at the time that I have left I have to make sure that's Focus time for the other people in my life go back to school and work at the same time I did I never saw you yeah I do have a question from an audience member or somebody texted this in and they said it's James from Texas thank you James James wants to ask you dr. Meyer
his wife is not supportive of him going back to school and he wants to know what you would recommend if the spouse is not in support of going back to school
so thank you for the question James and this may be out of field from you so if I start I will be careful and then to fur to doctors Kelly and April for what you may be the appropriate recommendation recommend a course of action would be but I would offer this if your spouse is not supportive of you going back to school I think my first question if she were my spouse would be why not and I wouldn't ask that confrontation Lee I would seek to find out what is really the Crux of the issue here is she afraid that you know you're not going to be available to her or that you're going to get in a super educated and better-looking and leave her or that you won't have time for her so that there's in my experience I've had an awful lot of students who come to me over the years with this raging this very issue it's very common by the way for for situations like this where was not supposed to snow in the other one doesn't
what's the what is the issue with a shoe really afraid of your doctor April thought the university and what a kind of experience and type it sometimes your spouse is actually will come and fight them to an event
or something on campus or online or whatever and that is time times cuz you're inviting your spouse to enter into your world so they're not feeling secluded And when they see it sometimes that is definitely helped in the connection ask James how many children do you have but maybe about the timing but you're right. For Meijer the a lot of people happier over some type of need not being met if somebody else's excelling we're going to take and when we come back we're asking more questions and get some more tips
if you're listening you have a pulse if you have a pulse you have stress if you have stress you should get a therapist how do you find a therapist you go online type in therapist near me can you find a list of letters l m h c l p C & C see how can you navigate understand all this go to dr. Kelly boucher.com dr. Kelly specializes in supporting people who suffer from stress anxiety and more you can have help today dr. Kelly boucher.com
welcome back to the bring an intimacy show where intimacy is real yes well I just got a question from Peter from New York and actually I've seen it since I'm Peter saying my wife is God back to school and I am with the two kids we have I feel like I don't have any time with her
I want to support it but I am frustrated what should I do
so is that is that for me to comment on
here's what I would suggest and possibly even argue and that would be this
there are many things that we want in our lives that we can't have right away and so everyday we wake up and we make choices about you know I've got to find out amount of money I got to find out amount of time I got a finite amount of whatever resources available to me an infinite number of things that I might want so there I might want anything I might want to vacation I might want a different house I might want a car so we all other aspects of Our Lives we will learn to delay gratification and we do that deliberately was there while I'm going to do extra day so that I can have why tomorrow I'm going to save a portion of my income today so that I can retire tomorrow I'm going to not eat you know the super-sized Big Mac meal so that I don't get to eat at tomorrow or whatever it might be. So we're going to delay gratification so
it's more difficult at a time like this are in a scenario like this to to agree to or understand that the delayed gratification model word Sears but because you've always had access to to this person now all the sudden you're concerned probably rightly so that you're going to lose some of the access to the person the way to frame it or the way that I would pick her someone to frame it is what is that look like two three four years from now when she's finished when I get the access back is that access going to be better access is it going to be better for me is it going to be better for our kids is it going to be better for the family is it going to result in a better dynamic or am I merely giving up when I had now and then struggling along for four years to give up even more later and honestly only the two of you in my view can answer that question but if it's if it's the answer is the former then I think that if you can frame it in terms of I'm getting something better I'm just waiting to get it it's in it's an
cuz this is not my I think you did a wonderful job absolutely maybe I should change my major is again change your major again I think that we can go to the next question which is not from the audience it's from me you know at the recent graduation it hatches University I met a faculty member had met him before he was tall guy has a doctorate and I think criminal justice
and he told me at what I walked up to him I said I haven't met you yet because I'm very shy and of course he did not believe that but any other do some self and he told me a story about how you mentored him that you were his professor and the faculty member that encouraged him and there he was with his stripes and I just want to ask you Doctor my you're a mentor well for some may be a torment or but you're definitely your own Mentor that's me trying to be humorous but you and miss that being in the classroom I know you're busy and you know but dr. April was just raving about having you as a professor
if you wanted to go back the way you were grabbing that's the question do you want dr. April as a student Note 6 being in the classroom and what do you miss the key was obviously a much younger man at the time he was a road Patrol Deputy for the sheriff's department in a county where we were running north of here where we were running and learning and this was an individual who was so strapped into his law enforcement career that off the clock he would pull people over on his way to class if they if he saw them do some traffic violation and so doctor can I will have to talk about this later but I know you do this I know that when you pull up to a stop light or stop sign
and you want to make a right that you start by that person make the right apparently you can't do that legally and so he would routinely pull people over and cite them and then come to class a half an hour late saying sorry I was late I had to get somebody a ticket so this is an example have seriously committed he was the law enforcement
his master's degree in public administration and his Doctorate in a public administration and when I told him that story about how we eat when I saw him recently he said you know why I'm ashamed of myself for being that guy I don't I'm not that guy anymore and I won't let any of the people to work for me to be that guy he goes that was the wrong way to approach this so what was so cool about that discussion and what so they answer the question what I miss about being in the classroom is that what what I don't get so much anymore is that email you know three weeks after graduation or three weeks after a particularly tough class or three years after graduation or tough class going if it hadn't been for you I never would have been able to do ex so the feeling of knowing that that the weather I think I did it or not is irrelevant most of the time I don't think I did the individual does the percipient so for the person to be able to say to me
you did this for me you helped me grow to this point there is nothing in the world that is any better than that and the only time I get those emails anymore are from people you know from 15 years ago who have had some life-changing now deciding to a credit or blame me for advice but I don't I'm not getting the current ones anymore so I missed the ability to have that direct impact
wow yes I know this is years later but I remember when you went back for your doctorate and how that years later I think about if he can do that I can do that so I know I'm just curious about how many people are listening to this there's three doctors in this room and we were all known for the Shoal student and for those of you that are listening or watching us on what we have many venues anything from audible Spotify YouTube wherever you listening to this and in this podcast please know that you can do it you can do it we are there is nothing that extraordinary the way do we are special and but there's nothing that extraordinary of us
that in this room we just were motivated and we persisted and we showed up so I encourage you to do that
yes that is correct. Do you have any tips that you would like to give anyone who's out there listening and thinking they cannot do it
well I would Echo doctor tell these words that you absolutely can do it there is no magic there is no magic so
ask yourself this do you know anybody who has a degree of any stripe a bachelor's degree and a master's degree a doctoral degree have you ever met a lawyer who by the way is going to have a doctorate that's what a lawyer is for a medical doctor who has a Dr. That's an MD or anyone who you know a member of the clergy often have doctor have you ever met any of these people in you think I can do that or I'm a smart ass that person is or I'm not sure that person saying the right thing right I could have done that myself if you've ever had that experience in your life you're a hundred percent right that having the piece of paper is not an indication of some particular intelligence extreme intelligence Rain-X all it's really an indicator is a willingness to do it a willingness to have the stick-to-itiveness as dr. Kelly says to show up
the drive the internal drive to do it you have to decide you want it if you decide you want it there's nothing preventing you from getting and it's I think to me it really is just that simple
it does boil down to motivation and also anything worth doing is going to have obstacles so keep that in mind those of you that are listening and you may say you know what I did not finish my bachelor's you have a wealth of opportunity right now with online degrees that Tec that Hodges University had in their recent commercial so just have that dialogue with your spouse your partner yourself and let's get it going it's about time I think for some of you if anyone wants to figure out how to get information about Hodges University or yourself can you let us know how do we go about doing that I need to know is there including everyone's contact information here at the University
awesome yes well thank you so much for being under shall we really truly appreciate everything that you've done yes I thought your Kelly thank you too I think it's better not to overlap with you I don't call it interrupting I call it overlapping knot to overlap too much but I think you should consider more podcast your exceptional attic recommend always enjoy things like this and listen from my perspective I just got to spend about an hour talking about myself and I'm My Own favourite topic this is straight we enjoy your day as well. Listening thank you dr. Meyer so much we have to follow us on social media to be a part of our bringing intimacy back Community request to join us on
but also follow us on Instagram Tik-Tok Twitter Youtube and also Clubhouse Matt she'll actually about friendship and then we have July 29th learning to love and on August 5th we're dealing with sex influencing and education will see you guys real soon this is been to bring an intimacy back there where is Missy is with his real

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