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Reclaiming Authenticity, January 21, 2022

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Reclaiming Authenticity
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New Year's Resolutions, how are you doing with your resolutions, 21 days to develop a habit

Reclaiming Authenticity with Dr James Houck

New Year's Resolutions, how are you doing with your resolutions, 21 days to develop a habit

Reclaiming Authenticity

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Reclaiming Authenticity: The courage to reclaim that which has always been in you.

No matter who we are, where we were born, and into what family we were placed, ours is a world full of relationships. Indeed, we are social beings who spend our lives making sense of our world by trying to find our place in the world. As social beings, it is often within the context of relationships that we experience tremendous pain and suffering. From overt acts of betrayal and cruelty that someone may have inflicted against us or vice versa, to simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time, many people bear the scars of physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual wounds. And yet ironically, just as we experience our woundedness in relationships, it is also within the context of healthy relationships that we find our healing and authenticity. The difficulty, then, is often finding the courage to discover that which has always been in you.

For over 25 years, Dr. James Houck has been helping people discover their authentic selves by integrating spirituality into their mental and emotional health. As people are able to integrate these disciplines, they often discover core issues that have been keeping them wounded in relationships.

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2:55 pm CT
Show Transcript (automatic text 90% accurate)

dr. James house
well good afternoon everybody wonderful to be back in the saddle so to speak and just good to be back like I said welcome to reclaiming authenticity and I are very excited to be back with you here today after a brief Hiatus just needs a little vacation so now I'm ready to begin a new year of podcasts that are dedicated to the integration of spirituality and our mental health and things that are going on here we are on the 21st day of January and I have to tell you I don't know what's going on but maybe this is an indication of what 2022 is going to look like but I actually saw my first Robin today. Then it is true that landed right in my yard and I'm on the East Coast are right outside Philadelphia and we are at a balmy 21 degrees right now so I don't know if this Rob
got blown off course or what his problem is or what's going on but we're about we're under two weeks before Groundhog's Day so I will see what that's like but anyway I just woke up good to be back miss the audience missed everybody and I hope your Christmas New Year's and everything else that was going on in your lives has been getting better and better and that you have a very good outlook on 2022 and if you would like more information about me or 2 if you want to leave me your comments about today show today's broadcast just invite you to visit the website that the address is bbs backslash reclaiming authenticity that's all one word run together reclaiming authenticity so reclaiming
authenticity and if you like to be part of the show today part of the podcast to call in if you have any questions or comments so that number is 888-627-6008 that's 888 6 to 7 6008 I go back and listen again you can go back into the archives and listen to even previous shows if you can't spend the whole hour with us and the other. That's fine but so pleased that you can access these are the shows how is your heart today I hope your heart is well I hope you are well I hope that if you are struggling today in one form or another in one capacity or another I hope that you will find the rest that you need I hope that you find the comfort and the piece that you are looking for
so for those who are tuning in for the first time and it just to kind of kick things off for the new year going to share with you and everybody else just two of my deep-seated belief that have actually helped shape my Outlook on not just life but also and formatting this their show and reclaiming authenticity and exactly where did this title come from and why is it so important to me to have this integration of spirituality and mental health well as I said the two the two deep-seated beliefs are as follows one
I believe that people have the answers within themselves I really do you know that you know the kind of life that you want to live right and you know how you feel and you know what brings you peace and joy and hoping and you certainly know what does it and you know so I believe that people have the answers within but they often go looking in all the wrong places if I could steal a line from a famous song and so right on the heels of that one belief of other belief is that I believe that everybody I truly truly mean it when I say everyone that that everyone comes into this world with what they already need in terms of their gifts and their talents or skills their Graces everything your personality and so forth another word for the very best part of who you are and
how I work with people you know being a professional counselor you know I believe that they have the answers within let's go look for the very best parts of you the things that you've already come into this world and just maybe discover them for the very first time or the reclaim them because perhaps you've gone through life than you do and where you experienced some pretty unpleasant events our things and perhaps you've found yourself the wrong place at the wrong time and you may have ended up suffering some pretty traumatic injuries and through these experiences you have you may have a tendency to stop believing in yourself or you know the fact that you you begin to doubt that you are already full of value dignity and worth as well as the giftedness that you came into the world with and so depending on where the wound is you know emotional or spiritual or cycle
we may feel like we need to hide who we are you know a truly who we are and I would have been hiding our gifts and hiding our talents and skills are Grace's or whatever because perhaps there was a time in which they were exploited and so to protect ourselves we hide the very best parts of ourselves we hide who we are and I have to say that this way for some time but I think humanity is definitely has turned a corner but I think humanity is ready to finally Embrace everything that's one another have come into this world with and not to shirk from that but to say this is who I am this is really who I am and this is what I bring and so forth because for far too long now through the centuries and then then some
people have been compartmentalised into well you were born into this family or you were born into that race or you were born into this particular profession or or a career path or something like that and then so that's all you're ever going to be and you know people just kind of dropped an emotional anchor right there and you know nothing wrong with doing certain professions or so forth but again stop the real Pete most people I find stop looking for the answers within themselves most people you know just settle for either mediocrity or they just don't have that internal drive to know exactly who they are so some people are content to allow other people to Define themselves you know through what another person expects from them or if you've gone through life so far I know you've heard
everything you know from other people saying well that's all you're ever going to be and then doesn't take long after awhile you start to believe that yourself but that's just simply not the case because you do have value dignity and worth the very best parts of who you are are still inside and so I really enjoyed encouraging people to look within to find out exactly who you are and what gifts and talents and skills and so forth do you have cuz those are yours
okay nobody else is going to have the same exact things that you have and that's the uniqueness that everybody has kind of like your own thumbprint but you know where we were as we have these special gifts and Graces and talents and so forth that are unique to us you know we certainly are compelled to share them with others because the world is waiting for such gifts the world is waiting for perhaps your your talents are your skills or even how you are with people in your presence being around them people are still starved for that that genuine this. That often Tissa T more or less about how I came up with reclaiming authenticity just a really encourage one another to be authentic in relationships
resolutions okay I know you made them don't sit there and shake your head and say well now I didn't I didn't have time to do everybody makes a New Year's resolution okay cuz we're either bombarded with that idea through the media where were thinking okay a new year I knew you you know you get the whole can I get the whole message how are you doing with your resolutions I hope you haven't given up on them already because it's third week is Shore so third fourth week if that most people like okay not going to do it or maybe even into the second week because we do the first week you know where it was excited about it and you don't throw a passionate about our New Year's resolutions but after a while and monotony might sit in or the routine aren't we might think it's boring or we don't see a media results
I'm a give up on it but you know I just hope you haven't given up on your resolutions but that the resident resolutions are going strong for you and that you are making great progress and reminds me of something that our advertisers and those who are in marketing they know this strategy all too well that it takes 21 days to develop a habit whatever it is you know what could be good things that could be bad things things that give life to us or things that are just very draining it out whatever it is it takes about 21 days to really develop a habit and it's that kind of repetition of the routine that's just reinforces it in our mind and our behaviors and so forth and like I said marketers know this already because how many of you have bought something online or at the store and
you flip the package over or whatever it is you know and you read in tiny print a 30-day money-back guarantee
well there's a little trick that because the marketers know that if you have something for 30 days and you use it for 30 days whether it's gym equipment or or whatever you know that you are less less likely to send it back because you've already established that have it in your life it's become part of your daily routine okay but they put that out there just in case all right but at the same is true for anyting 21 days develops a habit which by the way she speaks to you know how we have to be mindful of our thoughts and I don't know what we think about you can certainly lead to a change in the perspective which can lead to a change in our behavior and this has to be something very positive and life-giving and it could be something as very life draining and very detrimental okay so we do have to watch our thoughts because
fox develop patterns in our lives and then it just goes from there okay about the fact that our New Year's resolutions typically focus on ourselves okay whether it's wanting to lose weight or if you want to get a better job or even exercise more our resolutions often begin and end with us and something that I'd like to do every year it's just kind of look up like what are the craziest New Year resolutions that people make and sell the few that I came across this week number one I promise I will buy a new scale
okay just kind of leave that when they're never too I will stop checking my Facebook page every 5 minutes okay I won't touch that one either number three I will no longer sit in front of my computer screen for more than an hour and I'm assuming that this is perhaps somebody who loves to do gaming or other things because you know with covid and and so forth people are just get down there until they have to sit at their computer screen for more than an hour but it just you know you got the idea behind a number for I promise to clean my house at least once a week or more guy number five I am going on a diet and exercise every day
that's pretty specific but I can't think of the 21-day rule here you know if you do that for 21 days if you've developed the Habit number six I will eat more fruit okay very good very good number seven I will put an end to procrastination once and for all and I have to tell you that is one that a lot of people struggle with just putting things off from procrastinating or thinking that I'll do it tomorrow or I'll just I'll do it later on this year or something and then before you know it yeah that time ago that opportunity has come and gone and number 8 I will definitely sleep like a normal person and whatever that means I don't know what a normal person sleep looks like one person is New Year's resolution and number nine I will use my treadmill for something else
other than a clothes rack okay any takers on that one this one more number 10 I will start saving for the Future Okay so that that's a very Sound New Year's resolution you have your own resolutions as I have mine okay so bye I wanted to read to you just an excerpt from the ever-popular Doctor Seuss book oh the Places you will go and hopefully this will inspire you to hang on to these resolutions says congratulations today is your day you're off to great places you're off and away
you have brains in your head and you have feet on your shoes you can steer yourself any direction you choose you're on your own and you know what to do and you are the person will decide where to go you look up and down streets you'll look them over with care about some you will say I don't choose to go there with your head full of brains and shoes full of your feet you're too smart to go down and a not-so-good street
and you may not find any you'll want to go down in that case of course you'll head straight out of town it's open or the air and wide-open are out there things can happen and frequently due to brainy people and ftse as you and then things start to happen don't worry don't stew just go right along you'll start happening to all the places you will go
okay just Timeless Classics Timeless wisdom okay so hang in there with your New Year's resolution right well the real reason I read this passage to you is to point out the fact that when it comes to setting and keeping our New Year's resolutions as well as other times in our lives or different times throughout the year is that they often begin with focusing on ourselves like I mentioned a little while ago and it's true we need the confidence the motivation and yes the courage to set goals in our lives and these words of encouragement like you know dr. Seuss oh the Places You'll Go can often come from the most unlikely people and in the most unlikely moments
now this is not to say that we should not be made to feel guilty about wanting to take care of ourselves or that we should not strive to improve ourselves but I think deep down inside the real reason we make New Year's resolutions is to have more of a self-acceptance and then and a search for a greater peace and joy in our lives and I finally Embrace everything that we cannot put a monetary value on you know the things that are Priceless and our lives the the value of relationships, and yet perhaps we can discover greater peace in our lives when we can bless not only our own path or let's say our own Journey but also bless the path of another beginning from a place of gratitude
in other words begin with a place of contentment with what we have okay and just being filled with gratitude and this is something that is taken very seriously in other countries where but say a spiritual practice or a spiritual path is seen in the everyday Fabric in people's lives for example blessing the spiritual path of another is a literal practice I learned when I visited India several times and it's mostly seen when a person meets a a teacher or a guru or even another elderly person of importance or my status
and it involves reaching down and touching the feet of the guru. Only two to receive a blessing from them but also to honor or bless their spiritual path in which they are walking walking a spiritual path is a common phrase in today's world and yet it means different things for different people and sometimes it may mean that one has undergone an awareness of something greater than themselves and has decided to engage in the spiritual disciplines in order to discover that that it goes deeper and Hidden Truths The Mystery of Life
or still there are those who believe that walking a spiritual path is simply you know a code for well go sell all your possessions and move to a distant land and help the poor and you do from there well a lot of times I would hear someone make the remark that considering the spiritual path of another comments that is often made is wow that must take a lot of faith
oh yeah it does if you're called to walk that path okay but typically on the heels of a comment like that is this statement okay but what if a person makes a mistake or they realize someday that they wasted their life
well really it isn't an issue not whether the this person believes he or she is wasted their life by wanting to help others you know perhaps the main issue is that the person actually found their life simply by reaching out to others in the first place and perhaps this person found their lights calling simply by Having the courage to transcend their so-called limitations okay oh the Places You'll Go and this is something I run into time and time again when the subject of walking a spiritual path comes up in conversations there a little hint of hesitation a little twinge of Doubt or just a tiny amount of uncertainty
and it's almost as if fear takes over and unlocks us away in the further recesses of our minds you know it's a it's a place where it's cold and dark but it could be very familiar
and this is why we can talk ourselves out of things all the time
but it's even deeper than this it's really comes down to you know our subjects about what we think about ourselves or others Our God or how the world is supposed to work according to what we think is best for us
and I remember a time when I fought but I thought was a very difficult spiritual path and I have to say from a fairly early in my life I had a deep desire to minister to others and still do I just thought that I was going about it all the wrong way okay and I was about 24 years at the time and pursuing my calling to go into Ministry full-time and like all people who make it known that they will be doing some form of ministry in the future while we're gets out and then of course you know your ass to help out in church or the synagogue or you do make Hospital calls or fill in you know for a teacher that was sick and anyway but I was teaching in my church I was teaching an adult Sunday school group for several weeks okay and and so forth but during the
High School hour I was by your place I guess or I can do this for a few weeks so I can teach the adults
I'll be the first one to say you know first one to admit that looking back on those early days I had a long long way to go and I'll be standing up there my papers would be flying all over the place I would be stammering over my words losing my place from time to time and it seemed like week after week after week I would go home with the proverbial Excedrin headache number five so one night I have this conversation with god and I said I've been willing to pursue what I believe that you put in my heart even stepping out on faith by teaching others but I don't really enjoy it I don't really see the point and furthermore I don't like it
so I tell you what here's the deal I try to make a deal with God they so here's the deal I will try one more time and let's see what happens okay I'll give it my best and if it doesn't work out I'm done okay well the next time you know came around and you know for me to teach and I was up there just teach my little heart out and again papers flying all over the place are losing losing my place and so forth I was staring over my words and so forth and just time to time to try to get back on track and finally when the time was up I quickly picked up my paper stuff them in my backpack and and I headed for my car and I thought that was it I thought okay you know I'm glad I parked close to the church because you know I just quickly wanted to like okay I gave it my best shot I'm going to go home now and you can find somebody else
well now no sooner had I unlocked my car and I was about to get in myself when a man comes running up to me and he goes hey hey hey before you leave and I just I'm glad I caught you before you drove off I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed that lesson nobody is ever explain that passage the way you did it all makes sense now and I've been trying to understand that passage for so long so so so thank you
talk about blessing the path of another
well we shook hands and I thanked him for his kind words and I got in my car and I sat in my car for a long time and I just gently massage my right Temple that was throbbing like I didn't week okay I had this kind of lightbulb moment and finally I just I looked up and I just said straight out the god you're not going to let me out of this are you
I guess it's not about me
when I said this my heart spoke to me and said you know what you're right it's not about you it's not even what you can and can't do it's all about what God can do in and through you
so will you at least trust me
ladies and gentlemen the rest is history
is he having fears and doubts and uncertainty to a certain extent is normal
if that's normal after all you know we want to make sure that we do and say things correctly when we get a begin a spiritual path we walk a spiritual path we want to make sure at least we're going in the right direction
but yet what if we were just entertain just for the sake of the day of this notion that being on a spiritual journey doesn't matter where we place our feet because we can never fall off our spiritual path
how often do we have a match in that being on a spiritual path means trying to walk on a literal foot path or a trail where we have to be careful where we step or else we're going to fall off the path or go in the wrong direction
what if you just just what if walking a spiritual path is more about paying attention to the lessons that are in front of us all along the way
that it's more about the process rather than the end result
and then let's also entertained again just for the sake of the day that perhaps the entire purpose of walking a spiritual path is not for us to take on literal physical Journey
I'd rather that involves taking us on a journey inward to ourselves
the purpose of any spiritual journey walking any spiritual path always compels us to look Inward and this is the main point of one of my favorite books The Alchemist we're young Shepherd boy named Santiago sets off to find his personal legend or his Destiny what is my what's my goal in life what am I called to put on this Earth and every all these other questions that was running through his mind and his heart and his journey takes him across various lands to the pyramids in Egypt where along the way he encountered various people who are there at just the right time to help him along the way or to help him with the next step in this journey
and if you've ever read The Alchemist you'll realize that Santiago's Journey literally has brought him back to the place where he left but he himself has been on an inward Journey because he himself has been transformed along the way
just like TS Eliot one said let us not cease for exploration and for all of our exploring will be for us to arrive at a place where we started and know it for the first time
well I would really love to hear your heart on this matter so again if you would like to call in that number is 888-627-6008 and I'll be taking your calls after the break again you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and I'm your host dr. James how I'll be back with you in one minute
or I can be back with you sooner that's okay welcome back welcome back welcome back Doctor James how can you are listening to reclaiming authenticity and just behind the microphone so to speak and time with you and I'll just saying you just got kind of like Shameless promotion hear that I really enjoy reading your comments about the show and and just loved it the feedback and so forth as well as if you have any topics that you would like me to cover or to talk about that would be fine too so again I invite you to visit the website to just leave me those comments at www.pbs reclaiming authenticity
well earlier in the show I was talking about blessing the spiritual path of another and this concept can be a little intimidating for many people as the image of a path May invoking us this very narrow path where we have to put literally one foot in front of the other where if we're not careful not to fall off the side of a cliff but that's not you know what it is that you know walking the spiritual path is not a linear concept it's it's very sickly it often curves back around like I said we are I should say has t s Elliott put it that you do let us not ceased or exploration because for all of our exploring will be for us to arrive at a place where we started okay is that sicle are coming back again but because we've been on the inner Journey we're going to know it for
very first time because we have been transformed we have been changed okay with that being said being on a spiritual journey really doesn't matter where we place our feet because we can never fall off our spiritual path even if we go through some horrific times or some times of uncertainty or we don't even know where to put our feet down sometimes we're still walking a spiritual path it's still part of our journey it's still part of our story
so what if you know walking the spiritual path is more about paying attention to the lessons that are right in front of us along the way
you know it's like I said it's more about a process rather than an end result okay but how many times when we're walking a spiritual journey or this will stay with the metaphor of the past year are we continuously looking over our shoulders and worried about where we have been
and we miss everything that is right in front of us
and also lets you know like I said just for the sake of the day you know the entire purpose of walking a spiritual path is not for us to take a literal physical Journey okay just might it just might
but any any Journey any spiritual journey involves taking us on a journey inwards to ourselves and this is what makes irony a very effective tool in our lives irony teaches us things all the time because it is a classic Jean RA in movies and stories that was just the Wizard of Oz okay or something like that where we have these preconceived notions for these assumptions about okay well we're going to take that trip here we're going to go on this journey and this is what I imagine it's going to happen Okay this is what I assume is going to happen and the trip turns out to be totally different cable we've missed the lessons along the way because we were so focused on the women women women that's not supposed to happen here
we're supposed to go this way instead of just okay we'll go in this direction will go and will be involved in this this a spiritual discipline
but what comes up comes up and we're more open to the transformation that can occur more easily as long as we are aware that we have that awareness
and so as I just mentioned right before the break that the prominent theme that runs through the book The Alchemist is that through this character Santiago we realize that when we really want something to happen the whole universe will conspire so that your wish comes true
think about that for a second when we really want something to happen if the whole universe will conspire so that your wish comes true
I think I'm okay just just think for a second here who puts those Desires in our hearts
do we acknowledge that do we begin wanting to improve ourselves or wanting to begin a spiritual path or continue on a spiritual path with that gratitude in our hearts or the desire that was placed there in the first place
and the whole universe will conspire so that the wish comes true and this is the thing that ties into the today's topic of blessing the spiritual path of another because this is something I truly believe that whenever we pay attention to what has been placed in our hearts and we hear the Cry of our soul and we commit to it yes the entire universe will make it happen if we remain open and teachable to every situation in our lives
and when we do this we're also discover that we may have been destined to embrace the Cry of our soul all along
attracted it's going to take the fear of failure out of the picture doesn't it back this often compels us to not own any you know to bless our own path but they're also more sensitive to bless the path of another
well think about it this way every now and then I run into this statement when I run into this concept that well I have a hard time blessing the path of another because I don't like that person no more okay well I don't necessarily agree with their path or their spiritual path or you know this person has hurt me and so forth and I just can't do it so let somebody else do it okay well there is a certain passage of scripture which is what we understand it is kind of comical but yeah it is but as it's so profound cuz it it just cuts right through this doubt and then bring home the message oh I can do that yeah I can do that too and it's this passage of I believe it's commonly wisdom scripture where if you
bless the person who curses you or you turn away a harsh word it's as if you've Heap burning coals on their head and I have to tell you that I was a kid I always got this image in my mind that you don't like yeah okay that's going to shovel some coals on top of person's head and kind of burn their hair off or burn their Scout but it has nothing to do with that okay is not Revenge at all but rather your blessing them because back in need of the Biblical times or we shall say to keep burning coals on the head of another means that you're giving them heat you're giving them fuel
okay then okay at the burning coals can keep a person wore it can also feed their family you know I'm preparing meals and so forth so it is indeed a blessing you know we might put it in our to our language today of love like you know whenever we you know turn away you know just an angry person but kind words it's as if we've handed them a gift card so that they can get gas or something like that okay it's it's just you know you don't return the evil for evil but you turned around to be a blessing to somebody else
but how do you do this how do you do this and why is it important to bless the path of another like what what is it what is it do OK people along the way and your journey who are always there for you the people who you know how blessed you with enforcing gifts or words of affirmation worst or you know kindness something okay and what that felt like and how that kind of fueld you so to speak to continue on
that's what we're doing when we bless the pack of another but I tell you you know I'm forgiveness has a way of keeping us from doing that
but yet when we were able to forgive a person were not only saying to them I'm I'm not willing to carry this burden any longer and I don't want you to carry this burden any longer either
and we can let go of that burden of unforgiveness that we've been carrying even if the other person could care less what we do and it's like okay I know I'm not going to carry that any longer
and that burden is down and it makes our spiritual path lighter so I say lighter not just in terms of you know weight but also lighter as in light
so The Grudge is that we hold in the unforgiveness that we holding our heart can really keep us from blessing the path of another and you know what happens when we bless the path of another
endorphins are released oxytocin art oxytocin I should say is released and that some kind of like look at oxytocin as the relational molecule that when we were in a good relationship with ourselves and others and so forth you know oxytocin oxytocin really just reinforces that connection that we have it's you know we we have the awareness that we are connected but when oxytocin reinforces what we have done in a very very good way but that that bond that we have with people and all things is credibly strengthened
hang in there actually rewires the brain if you want you know put it in that language to wear oxytocin is the you know just wonderful molecule that has really encouraged us hopefully only bless the path of another that person also gets you know that understanding wore that experience of oxytocin you know that conditioning begins and hopefully they pass it on to somebody else
South as I said the problem is seen that runs through the book The Alchemist that when you really want something to happen the whole universe will conspire so that your wish comes true and you know you and I are part of the universe we may not think that we are but we are you know how often do does God answer prayers through the most unlikely people or the most unlikely moment and so forth and you knew without even you knowing and you could be an answer to somebody's prayer through how you smiled at them or just stop to say I just don't want to say to you how you doing but seriously how are you doing
that might be all it takes
yeah but think of other ways to bless another person's past it could take the form of encouragement I could take the form of maybe a financial support or maybe you do support of us food or something like that but it also could be like a prayer on support or or another aspect okay and so are we not only listen to The Cry of our soul but we also allow an able the other person to listen more deeply to the the depth of the The Cry of the soul that is within them okay because yes when we are more tuned in to who we are and we're more tuned into that cry the soul yes it's going to compel us to not only bless our own path but we're also going to be more sensitive than blessed the path of others were going to look for it we're going to hit just going to come so natural I really am going to think about it we're just going to go
I want to do and be
but you know how often do we get tangled up in the belief that just because we can't see a spiritual path that's clearly marked out for us you know every step of the way at all of our efforts are going to be for naught you don't we worry about making mistakes along the way or walking this path perfectly because there's times when we want to avoid criticism or ridicule or even shame
and we've been conditioned let's let's be honest with this at times we have been conditioned to expect these reactions to continue because these have been attached to ourselves for so long and these are some things that we're going to have to work through and we're going to have to work through not only where does that pain come from where do these things come from but then engage in the forgiveness and then releasing them to be brutally honest with ourselves and like why why am I still hanging onto these things what what point or purpose do they serve me why do I have a hard time letting go of this and why do I first on one hand complain that these these things in my life keep coming up but why do I keep looking for them
that is true you know our spiritual path or Journey might be unknown to us but it's not unknown to God and we just assume that all of our efforts are going to be for naught and then but why do we worry about how we're not going to do well you know why do we worry about or have this fear of failure and why do we assume that whatever we undertake was going to turn out wrong
when is it a fear of failure or is it a fear of success
and if we're honest with ourselves that it just might be a little of both
you know either way. Does to us you know that it would have died did what does I should say it keeps us in Mobile where by we just might not do anything you know we don't say yes we don't say no we just don't say anything at all because we're afraid
one of my dear friends were always reminds me of the acronym of fear it's false evidence appearing real and I like that false evidence appearing real
and I have to tell you I did a lot with people and so filled with fear that that something's always going to go wrong that it will never work or causes anxiety over our some shins that it's just some mobilizes them but what if we were guaranteed success whatever success looks like up there what if we are guarantee there's no way you can screw this up okay
would we be worried
would we be concerned
would we still have the same anxiety
think about it if you were guaranteed success again whatever that looks like would we be worried about failure
you know with things in full swing now with the football playoffs and basketball hockey and so forth and you know lympics are right around the corner again you know sports figures struggle with this too
handball players are just notoriously superstitious hockey players to that they have all kinds of pre and post-game rituals designed to quiet the voices of anxiety and you know it's like well I had this fear is like oh don't worry do this and you know that worried we'll leave and in fact it's kind of interesting that many of them trained their minds to see themselves being successful and this is why I blessing the spiritual path of another through words of encouragement and affirmations and kindness is crucial
but what if everywhere we go especially going inward is meant for us to discover with its own lessons and then and it's designed to take us deeper into our cell and ultimately brings us to a place of our souls greatest desire
would we consider that as failure
Say by thinking this way we realize that we never have to have fear or worry about making a mistake or somehow or displeasing to God we also have to stop worrying about whether or not others will understand what we do at because quite frankly it's not their spiritual path they have their own spiritual path and they need to be responsible for themselves just like we have our own spiritual path and we have to be responsible for ourselves
Lessons Learned along the way a total surrender
that's not a New Year's resolution that is a lifelong commitment or is Robert Frost would say that is The Road Less Traveled
when we are ready
how quickly does that road appear
I'm in the student is ready how quickly does the teacher appear
when the Buddhist tradition there is something called the Eightfold Path kind of nice stuff consider so if you're still searching for a New Year's resolution or coming up with discipline to get yourself started to walk on a spiritual path let me suggest this it's very sound it's very difficult because again it is a spiritual path that takes commitment and so forth but 21 days okay keep that in mind 21 days are you going to set the pattern in in your mind cuz it's going to be about the rightness of guy like right view right result of Rights speech right action and just to spend the last few minutes of this podcast just going through these at the Met. Just have a nice understanding of exactly what does this mean to step on a nail
let's begin with the Right View it's pretty much just a true understanding of how reality and suffering are intertwined and this is something within Buddhism that is you know where the suffering come from and what comes from a patch notes and will get with him where does attachment come from and so forth and we look at you know the reality that the days in which we live and so forth and the suffering occurs or stress or anxiety or whatever physical or emotional suffering how common that is okay but it's just how they are intertwined and just having a right understanding that this is how things often unfold at times and the next one is a right resolved an aspiration to act with correct intention in a Uno in other words Do no harm
so whenever you be go back to the right pillow and we have this true understanding of how reality and suffering are intertwined let us not do anything to promote the suffering
the third is Right speech abstaining from lying of course and divert it work which includes diversity for abuse of speech and then there's right action number for always acting in ways that do not cause harm such as not taking a life or stealing or engaging in sexual misconduct or whatever we want to put their it's like behaving correctly because God we are so connected and or as I like to put it we live in an echo that which we put out there it will come back to us and so when we hurt another person it's as if we have hurt ourselves and then we wonder why we don't heal we wonder why we not seeing any progress but we got we continually to do things that cause suffering for others number five the right livelihood making an ethically sound living you being honest in business dealings number six right afterward just endeavoring to give
rise to skillful thoughts words and deeds and announcing unskilled For What and other words motivation
I want to do things properly and have the right motivation and not just our thoughts or words but also what we do and I never seven write mindfulness just being mindful of you know ourselves as you know emotional and psychological and then physical and spiritual in the qualities that we have been right concentration the last one practicing meditation and which again we focus on the previous seven of the Eightfold Path here and I understand right versus a wrong but rather than being in right relationships with one another by way of our thoughts and speech behaviors mindfulness and livelihood a path so if it speaks to you I encourage you to begin that spiritual path on a daily basis
well the last thing I want to share with you before this podcast wraps up is just a wonderful prayer I don't know how familiar you are with Thomas Merton is a Trappist monk who lived the last century when I get the 20th century and he just was well known for having contempt for the prayer well known for one who would always be involved and introspection and reflection and so forth and the book that you've never had it then courage you to buy it it's you know of the Merton prayer from the thoughts in solitude and pretty much sums up my spiritual path and just a tremendous responsibility that we take in and stepping on a spiritual path or being awareness or having awareness I should say of our spiritual
Thomas Merton phrase my Lord God I have no idea where I am going I do not see the road ahead of me I cannot know for certain where it will end nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think I'm following your will doesn't mean that I'm actually doing so
but I believe that the desire to please you doesn't fact please you
and I hope I have that desire and all that I'm doing I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire and I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it therefore I will always trust you though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death I will not fear for yes you are ever with me and you'll never leave me to face my perils alone
the Merton prayer
thoughts in solitude by Thomas Merton James how can you have been listening to reclaiming authenticity thank you for spending this hour with me I really appreciate it just leave me your comments and I'll let me know you're at your thoughts and ideas and until we meet again next week the same time Friday afternoons at 3 Eastern Standard Time everybody be safe out there everybody behave themselves and may God Hold Us in the palm of God's hands have a good day bye bye
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