welcome to the bring intimacy back show we are intimacy is real if you desire to intimately connected with yourself your significant other children and family friends community and your higher power this show is for you that's we explore intimate topics inspiring life stories spirituality and insightful tips on strengthening relationships this show is hosted by dr. April and her co-host dr. Kelly Nellis get this episode of the bringing intimacy back show started because we share with you the secret power to intimacy to create a life you love or love the life you create now here's your host dr. April until host dr. Kelly Wilkins you to bring an intimacy back so we're intimacy is b l guess no that's such a lie how are you doing today I'm doing fabulous, Northern Michigan right now and yes yes and how's the weather
I'm not sure cuz I have been mostly inside but I think it's in the 70s was a nice breeze off the lake yes yes yes now that we're in June it's summertime you know we get to see people go out and stuff and that is just amazing and you know it we're going to talk today about the birds and the bees even better than the first will be yes yes cuz before you get to the birds and the bees there's got to be some kind of Attraction yes we're going to talk about what men want in dating an intimacy which is so excited
yes yes yes yes but before we get into that I want to talk to you guys about the latest installment of my improving intimacy book is out there on Amazon something about getting that and I'll sell this the audible will be on their self the other things that I want to talk about it on the bringing its Mystery Box show we actually do it charity of the month and this month is about try and so we are donating to the Trevor Project with support the lgbtq plus I love you and it helps prevent suicide yeah which is amazing definite like so get back to the top of the bus show me Drew I would like to walk about your show welcome. Thank you so much for having me I'm thrilled to be here yes yes so I know dummy is an expert on what men want and dating yes yes and when I went
your site I realize that you have a lot of information resources to help women and men in the sense of being able to have a personal relationship coaching and that you've been doing this for over 20 years
yes definitely and she's also been featured in Forbes on to Entrepreneur magazine Driveclub for her working passion and facilitating the same powerful transformation
yes The Walking Dead how did she find so much time to find out what men want to be in that busy you know what's interesting is I didn't really get here in 10 to 20 years because I was a mess of insecurities and self sabotage and I had to do something to get myself together and so I ended up finding this work and using it on myself and from Ben I have shipped it about a hundred eighty degrees that completely different different different though it's really fascinating and then when I decided I wanted to teach this work the other people I decided to work with dating an attraction with men specifically but the work isn't really about dating us not dating tips and tricks serve you no Coke
anything like that because nobody really has problems with dating I don't want to date my trips it's a show up and and mace right she was going to make that's why I'm thinking I want to eat and sleep and may has pretty much it and so and so I I I help people solve the underlying personal problems that they have that just end up showing up in their dating relationship life that's how I saw the dating issues is through those who have deeper psychological levels where we hold ourselves back from what we want with it shows about Missy and so let's just start off in the back how do you define intimacy intimacy is about being open enough to let another see and experience you so it's a it's a matter of willingness
actually and that willingness can be when you're naked in bed with somebody or it can be when you're passing the somebody on the street right it's it's how willing are you to be open and to let someone see who you really are and when that moment can happen you know if they're open or to the same thing or not then those beautiful moments of of intimacy, but it's actually really about open it when people think it's about sex or it's about your vulnerability I think it's caught is commonly and accurately Associated there as well but it's really about that openness being willing to let someone see an experience you lie and so on as you specialize will be called self-sabotaging how difficult are suggestions are tips when you really don't like yourself
to be open when you're not even really open with yourself but I just thought that I thought about that but you're not open to yourself it's not really so much about in this is other people because if I just work with somebody with the intimacy with themselves the rest of it the rest of the issue solved themselves because that's the underlying problem right to one of the ways that I'm able to get results for people as quickly as I am like in a matter of weeks I help people solve issues they've dealt with her fifty years and that's not just like a single example that's like it was a lot of people that have done that and it's not because I'm rushing through or anything like that. Because I'm being really direct and solving the actual underlying issue and not treating the symptoms you know what I mean so would you say it like you know in therapy there's unconditional positive regard we're not supposed to correct a redirect we just sit there and Nod and say so and I've often wondered that
therapy that can slow people down because you really should it sounds like you have a tight rein on it that by
you know getting that like thing directing and like say hey could it be this way could it be that way instead of just sitting there and nodding
yes so it's a it's right in the middle that's great I never get to talk to people who actually do this was wonderful I don't suggest anything to them cuz obviously that didn't include my bias with a client right and I don't want to do that even though honestly one of the reasons I think that my kind of weirdly gifted in this area is because I spent those twenty years doing this work clearing my own biases so a lot of the distortions that we're messing me up but I was very insecure that I would project onto other people I can now either don't come up most tender don't come up or if they do it's I can tell the difference right cuz I learned to recognize a difference between my stuff in and your stuff so so it's it's it's partially in that sense of that receptive positive regard that would fit but I do point out so I asked questions such that they can see how it is that they're creating what they're getting
like I helped make that link so I don't tell them because even if I were quote-unquote right which doesn't really matter so much in this realm it has to say I do know it has to come from them but they it's also specific words that will resonate and there's their words and I can't necessarily know their words so if even if I say so it's at this hour to tell them what their problem was then I would use my words and it may not resonate with them so it's it's halfway between a sense of yes I'm I'm I'm sure I'm reflecting to them I'm not adding anything in but I am reflecting pretty strongly okay do you see it you know but interesting tell me the question about this that then leave them to see how their experience creating what they're experiencing
it's basically what you're saying the law of attraction
eventually how am I actually the most of it being sort of inferior a lot of people understand the theory but in the embodied way how is it but me carrying something about my mother that I decide when I was five is now repelling women without realizing it in the unconscious conscious suddenly you're able to do something about it you know but it was obviously by definition if it's in the unconscious than in the subconscious and they're unable to access it and so then they saw the problem they can't Define right
very intuitive part of this process seems to be that people will get in touch with their own intuition
because I connect people with their body and when they're connected to their body all the sudden they have access to so much more information right even information which might seem impossible like how can I possibly know that this woman is good for me and this one is not well if you're connected to your body there's a lot more information coming in suddenly those more subtle things that may seem impossible to The Logical mind can suddenly become measurable and repeatable
right and many people don't I don't think how their body and this book called the body keeps score in NFL yes yes yes it's a book on the Joseph Hospital trauma on the body and how the body remembers everything so many people don't realize how is exactly are you seeing how your body responds to certain situation
information is is accessible through that you know you do a lot of people wisdom of the body and things like that again conceptually maybe most people understand that but it's not understanding it's a different realm not talking to your brain your brain already knows what you know I'm not interested in what you what you know I'm in something I think right in far as like how you perceive yourself as a shift this is this that part of I've read some of your stuff up out mindset about the mindset process that you had me do I use that word cuz again it's more tangible people understand what mindset means in reality it's so much deeper than that
what the word mindset management is from what I remember reading that you had so can you describe mindset management to us and how you use that cuz I think that those are your words that you're disappointed that correct I don't think I can barely used if using the sort of that community of overlapping from like entrepreneurs and success they they know that mindset very important to use in the business world I think it's grounded do that that makes sense and I use it just to describe the direction of your perception right you're you're seeing things a certain way it's not working you're banging your head against the wall and you can't figure out why
when you look at it from a different angle right one that was previously subconscious but that awareness then comes suddenly the entire game changes it's not even like oh I see this problem and now I've done this thing and now that problem is gone yes that's the ultimate result but really the problem just melts because you become someone that you weren't quite before so the process I use intuitive as you say is not very it's not learning I'm not teaching anywhere there's nothing that people don't know the steps to Enlightenment are online right up the building your business are online if you actually followed them you would be able to achieve both those things without a doubt that right that's why I specialize in cell sabotage frame
yes I do it becomes this kind of process of of Awakening there's an awareness and that's also why the results of people get with me or permanent because you can't on become aware of something right so they're there there's a there's a shift that happens where you become more authentically yourself and that reflects in your dating life
awesome I like the one we come back was going to become more into the dating life and especially how they specifically deals with matter what men want and we'll take a short break and we come back I will come over and chill or are you and take a vacation in Paradise medication to rekindle the passion a vacation without the kids a vacation when you going to learn how to communicate where you and your partner actually hear each other and game inside if so vacation counseling is your next vacation around his created vacation Counseling in Southwest Florida as a perfect option for you and your partner our Retreats are one couple at a time we have a variety of packages available to choose from including virtual Couples Retreat if you and your partner interested in the vacation counseling please visit us at vacation counseling.com for more information on pricing and packages
also follow us on Instagram and Facebook to keep track of the latest news stories activities or coupons on vacation counseling and Doctor April's other services we encourage you to sign up to receive a monthly newsletter called in to make connections at dr. April Brown. Calm remember if you and your partner are struggling with communication and intimacy and you all are looking for a retreat to connect vacation counseling can be your next vacation in Southwest Florida
welcome back to the bring an intimacy show where intimacy is Mia so we've been talking about how we can talk my dating and what men want and we have a wonderful relationship caught him in to say tell me a joke and tell me it's been hurting about how we sometimes self-sabotage ourselves and not get the things that we really want and we can really you know like you said there's steps out there
and we can look at those steps and try to follow him but somehow we're not getting it yes yes and I think I'm what you are also saying if you're doing the same things open up with you not getting the results
you have to think about something different yes but it's amazing how many people for years many years right here what causes people to be stopping in their head against the wall and become aware hey I need to do something different
well I find that some people will make that leap on their own some people just call and say my head hurts
okay bye. I mean to be enough there they're forty and now they're 50 and now they're 55 and suddenly they're like oh wait maybe I actually should do something about this or I'm going to die alone which is a lot of people in their own words tell me on the intro call I'm like what's going to happen if you don't fix this and they'll say I'm going to die alone or I'm going to settle right and I and I can't write I know when you settle that's not that's not good at all because then what happens is you actually change yourself
and then even if it doesn't work out if it does look at doesn't matter you've lost yourself and you like razor I'm curious because this topic is but what men want in dating how is that different than what women want
not so the nice tonight show that I do work with women now but I really only start doing that in the last six months or so I work with exclusively men's about 4 years and I did that not because the the work is not specific to men not even specific relationship is specific to how a person works and where you stalk yourself right and that's actually the only problem that anybody has and in the world everybody's one issue look like all your problems are outside but the more you work at speaking of the 20 years there's no problem I've come across that I haven't been able this work has been able to fix it so it's really it's really quite revolutionary and that way I started working with men though because there was very few resources out there for men
you know there's a lot out there for women women are on the rise we are making a comeback all of that is fair and appropriate as a result though there's a lot of resources and support for women and very very very little for men knew that because of course I'm not looking for resources for men so I didn't know that yeah it's actually really it's really true there are women's centers and Women's Hospital is in place of her old women can go and get all of that wonderful for me I think they're also should be places where only men can go and places where they can bond together like bonding with your own gender you ladies know is right that's exactly the men's fault but nobody's actually out there helping the men do what these ladies think they should be doing I mean like there's no nobody teaches them how to be men
we're supposed to be good in bed by a certain point but where did where did you learn right where did where did the boys learn a teenage boys are being run by hormones and then we're like how I can't believe that he you know whatever didn't last and better whenever you're right about these guys and it's like they don't call it making love when you're 16
you know what I'm saying like they basically they are having sex it's prom night you're losing your virginity so when do they cross over and start to make love
exactly when do they even learn the difference when does do they even know there's a different have anybody ever told them that is there what what what woman you know and then so there's this sort of just kind of imbalance that I found Again part of which is appropriate time wise and part of it is is not so that was sort of my of my Pace but as far as the men that I work for women carry a lot of beliefs around what men want and don't want like they only want to have sex like a sex driven and they're kind of like animals that lay her egotistical and his view of men like white women are more nurturing okay evolutionarily that's alright that's more of our role you know there's a different that's fine but the huge generalizations that people make actually it's called an image out of
you know he goes right or men only want sex that's a huge generalized statement that cannot possibly be proven and does not apply to all three and a half billion men right and so when you're and so what happens in and doesn't work that I work with a lot of which would probably align with yours you know when we experienced overwhelm our kind of trauma or perceived, when were very very young then your children will generalize their life experience right the way they come up with this huge they draw a conclusion about the nature of the world like men men only want sex right and then that lodges subconsciously in the back of their mind and then they live the rest of their life as though it is true and their living exact if that's it yeah it's because of the concept
Baron de Pinos in idea of men just want to have sex so they have that in their head and their think it all this is just what I want to happen I'm not satisfied exactly and so is so if a woman had that lets a woman with abuser Leon is it oh my God women and men are sexual creatures that's all. That's all I want they don't really see you then or life and then living as though that's true and she will see that everywhere confirming her own beliefs then 30 40 50 60 years later she comes into my office and goes man every guy I've been in a relationship with has just the sexual peace and doesn't see me or I'm dismissed or I'm a trophy or I'm however that manifest for her and I go great let's start there
and we work our way back until we find that belief and I'm mentioning that here because your listeners can start to do this right away if watch your language step one is to watch your language for huge overarching statements that can't possibly be confirmed women can't be trusted you know men don't want to come in life is unsafe I'm not enough as a popular one money doesn't buy happiness I mean issued any kind of a huge overarching thing and some of these may not even seem like images because I would have is what the so statements are called in in my work because they're confirmed everywhere like what everybody knows that money can't buy happiness I bet you anything there is one person in this world who would disagree with that yeah yeah yeah you can get happiness from symptoms You by yeah and so what happens is what this does in the reason why I'm emphasizing this is because it shifts you from
just how were the world is to which it which if you take that view that's just how the world is men just want sex then then you're a victim then right and you're seeing men as a problem if they'll you take that same issue and do I seem to attract men who only want sex and don't actually see me I wonder what that's about in that one small ship you shifted from complete victimhood to Total empowerment exact and so how is it for the men who have you not realized
maybe I've had a lot of one-night stands and whatever and I'm not satisfied
how does a chip work in the back of their head it's exactly the same time the guys who come to me they want long-term relationships they are lonely they are good men that you to get taken advantage of by women or again another pattern right or they get shoes on or they they can't seem to find your the keep messing it up and they don't know how sensually right and so they they keep being single and so we find same process we work that great what do you believe is true about yourself about the world about people that you're proving right that's resulting in this negative patterns keeping you single and unhappy and so we go down we find that what you can use to do in a session and then all the sudden things make sense and then we get to work on on healing whatever it is
so what I'm hearing from you dummy is that really the generalization of what men or what women want to no longer be is she really be you focusing on from stuff that you value in your life and you know everything else on your goes of what you want versus the general characteristics of men versus women out because if the more you limit yourself with those assumptions the more you limit yourself right about it because I know I've known I mean in a lifetime how many people could you say you know a hundred men using this control group and actually you're you're you're finding your own pattern so the goal is to and the change starts to happen when you start to recognize your patterns and own them as you are
I'm I keep experiencing this I wonder why and then now there's a problem now there's something we can do something about right you're attracting something but if you just assume you're like no I'm pretty sure I'm right they are choosing right over being right ever being happy right and if you really if you look at the first part of the word
you assume you make an ass out of you and me is that right have you heard that yes exactly
I was going to see if it's been a few curse first but we can definitely yes yes and so a lot of that and my nuts on your your website and you have a couple of different program yes and I guess that first part that you were talking about with that the inner evolution in the sense of is you have a free course I do you have a three-course dinner that I came up with but it's really weird to what ends up happening right because her to realize more of who you are and what's what's going on and you're able to function better definitely until then your other two, can we talk about those the one of the art of Attraction and they are of being authentic
absolutely yeah the art of Attraction is my original programs 8 week program and it's specifically designed to show you what it is it's keeping you single and specifically what you need to do to fix it so it's going back to like like he said finding out those patterns yes that's exactly right and when you can see those patterns as patterns you recognize them and and people may know the patterns are before they come in but they don't know what's causing it so it doesn't matter right my process links the conscious mind with the subconscious mind so you can have a conversation with where the problem actually is and the really cool thing my favorite thing about these programs is it as you're going through your learning the techniques so you'll leave with the ability to fix your own problems that's my goal I don't you dependent on me I want you to be able to do this and showing people how to do it right and so until that eight-week course II made specifically for a relationship the art of authenticity was my next course and it is it's probably the best work
it's a little bit more advanced its lesser of your drawing each thing for you and more like really kind of bumping up the next level and it's about how to be fearlessly and effortlessly authentic that is a lot of sense. I feel the same way to the damn like I'm just I just have no fear in my life anymore and it was all the time for me it was you know the insecurities and the uncertainty in the self-doubt and the self-loathing and it was just like the whole thing was just a mess and now I don't help projectile and other people and it worried about what they're going to say I don't worry about how I look it's like a whole different much more effortless and joyful way of living life and that's what I teach in the yard with anticipating
wow that's amazing yeah and like you said she just be authentic to just be here
yeah yeah
that's one of the things that a lot of people struggle for a very short time yes
you're awesome huge yeah and you just said it's a it's a short amount of time how long is the program is 12 weeks okay and that was it intentionally small I'm through the loss of one of my attention again. The whole group really transforms as as one of the very accelerated process and we go very deep
right right right so basically I'm in this whole thing about dating and intimacy we started with how you self-sabotage with those negative thoughts about yourself all the way to being authentic yes which is which is what happens when you clear those underlying thoughts like when I release my insecurities suddenly I was okay being myself and I never was before and so now I can sit I sit very comfortably in my body I was very overweight before and I couldn't lose the weight and then I did this work and fix whatever it was that was actually sabotaging me in the moment and all the weight fell off
I couldn't keep it on anymore
right right I got a hold of her but yes definitely and I would say the same thing in the sense of my weight loss over the years but yeah I'm people don't realize that they can negative about yourself and those insecurities makes your body just hold onto sugar and fat and all this other stuff
yeah everything is connected that's that's why they're there it's not really dating work that I do everything is connected so we saw that underlying issue negative thoughts and and deeper and then all of a sudden things start to Chef is like yeah we're fixing your dating life also and I left your more confident you're more clear you're able to speak more you're able to approach women or men joyfully and effortlessly as it's actually fun anxiety decreases massively
depression I mean everything starts to shift because you're coming into balance with yourself
play the process is quite a process and I'm quite passionate about getting it out there for people to see because again I mean weight loss I wasn't trying to solve the problem with weight loss but the same process so that problem I can turn around right now and and run my entire business toward weight loss or toward xiety it's interesting because if we can figure that out even like for some some women that do not get pregnant and they adopt a child in this soon as they adopt a child this phenomenon happens they get pregnant pregnant and I don't know it off the top of my head but it really is high and so there is a correlation between the reduce stress from you know hey we have a child and then they can get pregnant in this is your reduce stress from having lost weight and now I have more confidence
right and I also a human potential peace that may be relevant to that example as well for example I think it was like a running a four-minute mile and I'm on the run assistant might be a but there was some sort of a barrier no human has ever run a four-minute mile or Oregon faster than that right and for like a long time and then a few years ago somebody did it and then everybody started doing it
nothing everybody did the same thing there was I remember when figure skating when I was kid there is not doing it just watching at the Olympic something like that a quadruple jump or a backflip I think that but no one had ever done in competition that nobody had ever land in competition one person did it and then all the sudden I Remember by the time the next Olympics came around the announcer saying it's now expected if you don't do it like that's now with the bar is so there's also when I say everything comes down to the limitations of the human mind cannot emphasize that there is almost nothing outside of it is a couple of things very very very few if you change your mind the way just kind of opens it's crazy and evolution is yeah how we have advanced and the more advanced in the more we think we can do things yeah and there's no yeah block it I think this
that's getting move is the triple Lux because it's the second most difficult jump at the axle is the first most difficult not that I'm a skater I'm a cripple locks and that I do remember them saying that as well it's so interesting to somebody gives us permission because they did it and people said hey you can do you know somebody else can do it I can as well that's very interesting. And to see that happening in relationships and dating so if you had to say what what men want what would be the top three things that you found in your experience and how many years have been doing this what are the top three things that men want
I would say the things that they want is if we in a relationship I'm going to say happiness which I think is not specific to men emotional support and companionship someone to share their life with are those are the three things that I hear them say the most they want they want someone who understands them someone who they can they can connect with that can really they can really see them and here we are back to intimate C-section they want that ability to somebody to be open with that life just goes on right there's there's that open connection between them and and their partner when we come back we're going to get questions from the audience on exactly this topic of intimacy and dating and what men and women want
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Welcome back to the thing an intimacy show where intimacy is me out so we've been talkin about the importance of knowing ourselves and not just stop it by sometimes the meaning of many of us have been out there dating for a while and maybe we are getting the same old type of things and how that definitely and that's what we're bringing into a circle in the sense of virtue intimate relationship so I do have one question that came from season from Texas and she says
you mentioned earlier about self-sabotaging I have these negative thoughts of I'm not good enough no one wants me
how do I change those. So get rid of them
yeah so the
it's not just a thought if it were just a thought it wouldn't quite have the hold on you that they have the thought is how you can recognize the right we're talking about earlier about images right right and how to recognize them in your language will the next more advanced step is to recognize them in your thoughts and the reason why you recognize them in your thoughts is because those are the places where you're out of reality or in Distortion right manner the word some men are definitely the worst you know all of them or not until you're out of reality in that way and what that means is you're no longer living life in the present moment you're in reaction to something that happened decades ago and you're living now as if that were so
so when you recognize those thoughts or those phrases in your head even though that's just the thought aspect and there's more underneath it just the awareness that shift it is very sort of quantum in that way right so when you look at something directly and I had to work this work really quite considerably wonders really with anxiety is people will feel anxious and then just kind of went around it like they'll sort of cope right thing with turn and look directly at us
okay like a flea
the cap'n's so if you were suddenly aware that you thought all men were sex machines and worthless then it would not and if there was significance to that thought I suppose we're just being a random thought right if you knew that was significantly then suddenly would make a lots a lot of sense while you're a single woman at whatever age do I write looking for a man and a man can't measure up leave already decided he's not going to measure up so it's literally impossible while that is in place to meet a person and let him in because I decided to not going to so just becoming aware of those those those overarching statements and then the third most advanced steps so recognizing in your language is step one red tide in your thoughts as step to ask
right so you're saying is this true or this not and I also kind of confronting you something
and so
breaking up at that again I'm sorry if you could repeat that
generalized statements in your language right now your friends language people that you hang around will have similar
recognize them in your thoughts before they even become words and then a third step is a turn and really look at that right is that you were saying or existing right and so in that way I've lost you I got the first by but if you could say stuff to you with me again I would really appreciate it of course
step two is to recognize it in your spots before even becomes your language right and then step three is to turn and really look at that thought question it's right if it's true you should be able to prove it right if you say I've had experiences with men that have left me feeling X that's something you can prove if you want to go to experiences if you say you know men are the worst that's not something that you can prove without talking to all of them
and testing about life and that way you can find where you're limiting yourself and where you're keeping yourself stuck and the important thing to note here is that some of them to sound really socially acceptable like your friends will agree with you because they're colluding but it's not helping you is making you feel better in the moment but it's keeping the problem in place and keeping you stuck right go ahead after April that's when you probably needed a professional like yourself it helps
and it doesn't accelerate the time yeah I was thinking about you know how those like a group of friends reminded me of Jerry Maguire with Tom Cruise and he started dating Renee Zellweger's character and all these women were there at this divorce party like all these divorce women and in that group and he walked in and it was like
okay it all because of the generalizations that all men are good thank you so much for being on the show I really do appreciate it yes how if anyone's out there and they're listening they say oh my gosh I really want to get in contact with her how can they contact you absolutely go to my website. I'm going to do. Cam and I can go ahead and send that to you guys are put it in the notes for you and you can get on a free call with me I highly recommend doing bad it's just a kind of a space where we can go into more detail about what it is that you're going through where you're struggling and get you some clarity on what you need to do to fix it doesn't really worthwhile call anyway and then if you know that you want to work with me and you're ready to sign up right away you can do that directly on the website
yes and you're taking men and women now
right everybody's awesome and for those of you were listening we have upcoming shows June 24th we have Lynn Sturdivant with the pursuit of vertical intimacy July one Matthew Wagner sexual addiction is an intimacy problem July 8th dr. John Mayer with education in intimacy for non-traditional students and then we have the whole month old man's Chronicle host coming back making friendships work so don't forget to follow us on social media and be a part of the bringing intimacy back Community you can join us on our Facebook and Instagram Tik-Tok Twitter you get the idea and YouTube it's so we're so happy to have you a part of our journey. The Kelly know you have one of these cuffs here we have a merchandise kept here we have a lot of bringing intimacy back merchandise yes yes so if you're
thinking about how I'm really feeling you guys and I really like it definitely
do I love it I love it too it's a nice strong hearing going and who doesn't like a strong bone yes definitely
beginning thank you guys bye
Okay I lied I know I need to get it without a great Note 4 ending that's fabulous that was a total in making of boners and then just leave the door a whole nother episode is double recording right there just like
I always say people I don't do pro bono I do pro bono play on that you can say Hey you can have a 15-minute reconcile its probe owner
even if you're not into boners it's still exactly awesome I really appreciate it I like the way you later take care.