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From: Admin_man (69.151.231.33)
Subject: New element discovered
Date: January 18, 2006 at 2:17 pm PST
The recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the
existence of a new chemical element. A major research
institute has recently announced the discovery of the
heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has
been named Governmentium. Goverhmentium, the symbol GV, has 1 neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312
particles are held together by forces called morons, which
are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles
called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons it is inert. However,
it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with
which it comes into contact. A minute amount of
Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take
less than a second to take over four days to complete. Governmentium has a normal half life of four years. It does
not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a
portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons
exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually
increase over time since each re-organization will cause more
morons to become neutrons. Forming what is known as isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists
to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach
a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as critical morass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy
as governmentium since its half as many peons but twice as
many morons.
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