There was a time when I was so young,
that all of Life was a question,
and I asked of it, frequently and often,
to reveal the secrets of how and why.
To my earnest inquiries I received the reply:
“because I said so” and “don’t ask why, or
I will give you a reason to cry”.
To which I replied, “but why?”.
My questions went unanswered, despite each
dedicated attempt, until I felt such questions
must surely cost much more to answer
than I could ever know.
But I persisted, querulous wretch that I was,
and earned the pain with which I was rewarded.
And still I questioned, and had to know,
and asked and asked, until told “GO!”
My need to know just grew and grew, until
I was led to the children’s library,
to find out for myself, just what was when,
and who was who, and did they win?
Soon every book within was read, and sent
I was, to the larger place, where book upon book
just laid in wait. Those books, you see, needed
to be read—some of them, very late, in bed.
Before the time allotted me, I’d read all books
that were allowed. When told no full access card
would be issued, my old friend “why?” came back,
and to my surprise, cracked the code.
I read past my age, and past all the books,
until I’d left few pages unturned. At last!
The Manna…the Holy Grail…the COUNTY
card was in my hands!
AAAAhhhhhhhhhhh…at last, my quest could end.
Or could it, I wondered? What led from then?
I found more to read, and many more questions,
but still my burden was not lessened.
And then I asked God, so high above,
and begged for Angels, even Heaven,
to help me understand and
ask the Right questions!
Aaaaaahhhhh…now THAT is a worthy quest!
There was a time when I spent many an hour pondering Life,
When I was able to pluck answers from the air,
And knew the Truth.
There was a time when all became clear
and all became Love and Light; when
even the act of rising from sleep became Joy.
Then came the universities, replete with their
learned professors, who knew little of Life,
who did their best to be sure none of us would know either.
Out into a workplace of greed, and lust,
and lies, made worse by the uncaring and unjust.
Race from dawn to dusk, too busy making marks on paper.
Trading paper for paper, growing old and used up,
hardly ever looking anymore for the simple sweet answers of Truth.
Truth faded into the background, reviled by big business.
Gasping for air, searching for Life.
There was a time when I thought it was over,
when I could no longer go on, with so many
wounds from the battle against overwhelming odds.
There was a time I thought the callous, hateful people
would win, and drive all Joy from my life,
and turn me into one of THEM.
Oh, God…NO!…I can not be that!
Then I turned away from those hordes,
who struggled and strained, and called it “normal”.
I turned away, remembering the Truth.
Then I decided to be alone if need be,
to be one who would find the Real Truth,
or die.
And found that I am NOT alone,
that many walk beside me,
both here and in other dimensions.
I found the unseen ones had steadied me
when I had faltered, and whispered
encouragements into my ears.
I discovered that in my darkest moments,
when I was on my knees crying for help,
I was surrounded by Love from other realms.
How wondrous is that??
There was a time that I walked through Life
in constant meditation and gratitude,
thanking God and all my helpers for all they had done for me.
There was a time I thought—really—that I was separate
from God, and my helpers,
and from all the beings I shared the earth with.
And then,
I asked the most wonderful question of all:
WHO AM I?
© 2006 Valerie Olmsted
All Rights Reserved
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